Sowing the seed of love

My dear, darling sister is a year older than me. This means that, biological clock-wise, it's a rapid tick-tock countdown to her being barren. Her plan for 2005 was to meet the man of her dreams, convince him that she's not completely mental, get married and get pregnant so she could have a baby before it was too late.

You remember Anna, don't you? The one I went to Rome with? Remember how many times I wanted to kill her in that short space of time? So, are we surprised that Mr Right keeps slipping through Anna's desperate clutches? And her insistence on wearing makeup and fussing about her appearance! Then again, given what she has to work with, I should really be more understanding.

But I do love her to bits and it'd be great for her to find happiness, to have her dreams come true.

I have a cunning plan. She's buying a house with her lovely friend, who is a gay chap. They've known each other for years - since they met up a mountain in Vietnam of all places. Anyway, fed up of living in their separtes terraced houses, and resigned to the single life, they're taking the plunge and buying a semi together in one the leafy suburbs that used to be a red light district, but is now very up and coming - apparently.

I'm going to suggest that they have a baby together and I'm going to buy them a turkey baister as a moving in present.

It'll be SO FAB!

My only fear is that she's already thought of it and that she steals my thunder. We're going out for a family meal to celebrate Dad's birthday tomorrow; I think I'll brink it up over the bruschetta. It should go down rather well I think.


What the world is waiting for
Remember the Stone Roses? Weren't they great?

Anyway, cakesniffy yes/no responses:

1. Ginger beer
YES, FUCKIN' DELISH! Nice and spicy. People in the UK should try "Bottle green" ginger and lemongrass cordial diluted with cold fizzy water, it really is the business.

2. Toe nails
No, not really. No matter how they're dressed up, they're pretty fucking disgusting, especially big fungal ones that come out to torment people in the summer.

3. Getting new technology for no justifiable reason
Hrrrm, yeerrrrsss, or at least I would if I was completely stupid with my finances. It's so tempting to get an iRiver, new PC, new stereo with the "spare cash" that I've got, but I'm going to be good and pay a chunk of a credit card (boo hoo). I have, however, just acquired a new mobile phone. The old one is more than adequate, a lovely phone, and does all that I want, but I fancied a new one, so I got one. Dick. At least it was free.

4. Flirting with your line manager
Yes, I'm afraid I've found myself doing this a little bit over the past few weeks. Tut, tut, tut.

5. Tinned spaghetti
No fucking way! Never tried it, don't want to go near it. Strange that I like macaroni cheese and tinned ravioli.

6. Wrapping up warm in winter
Yessiree! But only if I get the go ahead from the government. I love being nice and toasty in the winter, to the point of inducing febrile fitting. I'd love to see Herge in his duffle coat too.

7. Sycamore trees
Yeah, love em to bits, absolutely love the fucking things dropping their shit all over my car and garden and blocking all the fucking light. Right on, more sycamores!

8. Grey squirrels
Fucking cunts, but I do kind of like them for their audacity. They're pretty cute.

9. Anchovies
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! I adore these little fishies in all their incarnations: marintated or salty, I can eat 'em by the dozen. On a proper oven-baked pizza with black olives is simply deeeeeevine. Also, the marinated ones are perfect on a nice tomato salad bruschetta - fuckin delishiozo!

My birthday lunch

10. April pissoff
Abso-fucking-lutely! Love this woman, love her blog. She's a goddess, she's clever, she's witty, she makes me howl laughing. A definite "yes" to April.


The song was Native New Yorker by Odyssey. This was correctly recognised by my sworn enemy Treacletrade, but good on him/her/it. A temporary truce has been called until they piss me off again. Won't take long


A night off
I'm not going to be around until Friday night because of the family meal tomorrow evening. Oh boy, what a fun time I'm in for!


Coming up...
What NOT to wear... Quiz show contestants... Hammer House of Horror... Photography tips for Canon S2 IS owners (yep, that's you Lisa!)... People who call their daughter Bryony then fail to own a Porsche!