Staying in

Having argued the case against going out, it seems fitting that the case for (and against) staying in is examined.

The case for
Having just got back from the shops near where I work, I am quite wet, having been caught in a bit of a nasty downpour. All I wanted was a Poppy; in the end, I found that the hospital volunteers on the front desk had some. Tsk.

Therefore, the first piece of evidence to support staying in is: the weather. The weather is something that should just be something that goes unnoticed around you, but in the UK, it interferes too much with just about everything and can never be relied on for anything. Staying in protects us from the elements and this is a good thing.

Familiarity is a wonderful thing; being comfortable in your surroundings is essential for relaxing. If the telly is your bag, you can watch what you want, when you want to. You choose the music that you listen to, the food that you eat. You don't sit in fear and discomfort as your guts play russian roulette with you when you trump: you need a poo, you go for a poo and hang the consequences, but there's no danger or embarrassment from the smell or noise should your arse explode.

Coffee, homeground. You like your coffee the way you like it and you can have it exactly that way at home. You're in charge of refreshments and snacks and you know that you won't have to suffer crap pop and rubbish crisps that other cheapskates buy in and leave to go flat or stale. Such people only generally put beer and white wine in the fridge, pop is relegated to the back of a dusty cupboard.

Temperature tantrums. Some people don't like having their central heating on and their houses are freezing. It's not quite the done thing to take several layers of clothing with you when you go to visit somebody for an evening. Staying in, you can crank the heating up to above 8°C, or put on as many jumpers as you need to.


The case against
Shutting yourself away from the world and limiting all interaction with peers to workplace conversations can result in a person going mental. Isolation from society warps a person's mind as the people "outside" become a single, faceless, parasitic entity: "That lot of lazy bastard dolescum". Populations in entire towns and cities become dehumanised and people become a worthless enemy.

Or that's what I've heard at least.

You stay in, but you withdraw from your family: you're not interested in what they watch on the TV and everything else is a mither. Shut away in your study, you surf the internet and think of things to make your life better. You simply cannot survive without the very latest PDA or iRiver. You become an Amazon whore. So what if you spend hundreds of pounds each month, buying junk off the internet? Some people spend that much on a night out and at least you're not rotting your liver!

How are you ever going to meet that special someone if you never leave the house? They're not going to e-mail themselves to you! Staying in is fine if you're happy staying single.

Finally, you have no chance avoiding the begging telephone calls from your old universities' alumni fund volunteers. Staying in last night cost me £20 for the University of Warwick and no doubt I'll be getting hassled from Leeds soon too. Grrrrr, I never got any scholarships.


Summing up
Despite certain negatives, the advantages of staying in far outweigh the disadvantages. Just think, if I was at home at this very moment, I'd be able to go to the toilet to relieve the terrible discomfort I'm currently experiencing as my colon conducts itself in a symphony of dirty protest. I fear I may be pissing through my arse come my next toilet visit.

Staying in comes out on top every time.


Coming up
Yes or no... Slanging match... The hunt for Red Panda... Cakesniffer in offline horror!