More disturbing was the realisation that I'd had my morning tinkle and flushed immediately before I'd closed the toilet lid: the fucking bastard must've been right near my arse all the time!
Fucker.
Of course, there's always the possibility that it's something that was in my curry last night that'd transmutated in my colon. But that would mean that I'd lied about only having a tinkle (which is true, at least at that point), or that it actually came from my front bottom, which it didn't. In fact, it didn't come from either of my bottoms, it came from outer space I'm TELLING YOU!
It must've been constructed from some sort of organic alloy or resin that was resistant to TWO flushes:
DIE, you fucking bastard from hell!
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