Oranges are not the only fruit

I love oranges; I eat about three every day. But why do they have to be such bloody hard work? You spend ages peeling the bastards, the juice burns your skin and squirts in your eyes, you get bits of pith under your nails and you don't half hurt your thumbs as you try-very-hard-to-get-the-very-tight-skin-off.

Phew.

You get so stressed peeling them that you need a lie down afterwards - you don't realise that you've been holding your breath during the procedure.

Getting the peel off is only the first part; prizing the things into segments can result in further showers of citric acid and juicier ones sometimes fall apart completely.

You don't get that sort of trouble with a Twix.



Parents and crap food
My parents buy good fresh food. However, they aren't the richest folk in the world and they'll generally go the for cheaper alternative over certain things. These compromises can sometimes send me spinning into a rage.

• Bacon: I don't eat bacon that often, so when I do indulge, it has to be proper. Imagine the disappointment when I discover that Mother has bought some cheap shit that falls apart wehn you try to separate the rashers. Not like Trillion, she treats me properly.
• Salsa dip: We had fajinas the other week and Mother ruined them by buying cheap crap salsa dip, rather than proper fresh salsa. Processed crap like that should just go straight in the bin without even being opened. Disgusting.
• Apples: Dad is an expert selector of oranges, melons and tomatoes, but he is utterly rubbish at finding decent apples. I don't know why: I got to Tesco, pick up a bag of Braeburn and there you go - delish apples for all to enjoy. Dad? I've no idea what goes wrong, but he buys "Braeburns" that are the most powdery, disgusting, horrible things you could imagine. RUBBISH!

And they wonder why I'm grumpy.

An edit for illustrative purposes

Here is today's sac des fruits:

Here are my hands after battling one of the oranges:

Here is the orange:

Here is the apple after I bit into it. Note the texture of the flesh - powder!