Pink

If a colour could cause a person to commit murder, the person would be me and the colour would be pink. I fucking detest it with a passion. It's not the colour itself that turns my stomach and makes my brain pop, it's what people do with it:

• Little girls in pink (aged about 4 to 10). Not just a nice pink skirt or jumper or top or something. No. It has to be the whole fucking ensemble: pink shoes, pink socks, pink corduroy dungarees or skirt, pink (frilly) top, pink cardigan, pink fucking hair ribbons, pink fairy wings and a dolly dressed in pink for good fucking measure. I could kill in an instant when I see this.

"Slap me"

"Slap me harder"

Check out so much more at E-fairies. No, I couldn't believe it either.

• Teenage slags in pink tracksuits. FUCK! NO! Wrestle their bottles of Lambrini from them, bundle the little bitches into the back of a van, take them to the local hospital and STERLILISE THEM!

• Pink babies. Look at this poor little git:

"Please call Social Services, I'm being horribly abused by my mental parents"

• Barbie. What a fucking waste of space. I never did get dolls, no idea what you're supposed to do with them - they're completely pointless. And a doll that's totally pink-clad? Fuck me!

AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!