Too fat for Vesuvius

I used to be really fat. Morbidly obese in fact. I used to weigh about 18st at my heaviest (just over 5 years ago). I was a size 26 on top, about a size 30 on my bottom - UK sizes. I was a big lass. Should I show you a picture? I don't think so. I make enough of a fool of myself here, but that's going way too far.

Anyway, for one reason or another I lost a fair bit of weight and you can see how I am now. I lost a fair bit of weight just through plucking my eyebrows actually.

I was having a conversation with a friend recently, we were talking about the Neapolitan Riviera, Sorrento, Pompeii and all that - I'd visited there in 1994. We got on the subject of Vesuvius and I said, "You can climb all the way to the top, but I couldn't because I was too fat". We joked how my memoires might be called "Too fat for Vesuvius". Ho, ho, ho.

I'm still quite a porker in parts ( I won't get my legs out and it's rare for me to wear a short-sleeved top in public), but I'm OK.


Knee = fucked
Being a bloater leaves its mark and I've got crap joints in my legs. I felt my knee go when I was at the gym the other night and I think I've done something to a ligament. It's not painful, it just feels weak and it's difficult going downstairs.

I bought an "athletic knee support" today and, not knowing what size to get, I plumped for the medium. It's too tight on my still-chunky thigh and it digs in quite a lot.

My knee will be fine, I'll just end up dying of a fucking thrombosis.