Bored with a bangin' headache

That just about sums up my day.

Terrible weather, rubbish traffic on the way here this morning (rubbish traffic for no reason other than rain), bangin' headache, knackered and bored.

And I need a poo.

Got some work to do, but can't be frigged.

Even my trip to Tesco was rubbish.

I might have a look through the Guardian job ads to see if anybody's recruiting a full-time blogger at >£25k a year.

Let's have a look at this week's sample of "Arts & Heritage" jobs in the Guardian. This should be fun! OK, here are the first 10 (I really couldn't go on, you'll see why):


Art Consultant
EMINEO FINE ART Greater London £To be negotiated Art Consultant required to sell 20th Century Masters in Japan and Singapore.

Education Managers
English Heritage Avon, Yorkshire & Humberside c. £27,000 per annum Reporting to the Head of Education, you will deliver education programmes for your regions that support organisational objectives. You will be responsible for developing partnerships within the sector to expand our educational provision.

Bookings and Information Team Leader
Victoria & Albert Museum £23,236 - £27,337 per annum The Bookings and Information Team is responsible for public bookings and information for the full range of the V&A's events and activities. You will be responsible for efficient management of the service and the team.

Head of Diversity
Arts Council England North London £35,695 plus benefits We require someone with a strong knowledge of diversity in its widest sense, incorporating cultural diversity, disability, social inclusion and audience development. An ability to see the 'big picture' as well as strong communication skills.

Officer, Performing Arts
Arts Council England Cambridgeshire £24,825 per annum plus benefits You will be responsible for actively contributing to regional development and strategy in line with Arts Council England objectives for the East region. A key focus is the development of regional touring hubs and combined arts.

Officer, Development (Children and Young People)
Arts Council England Cambridgeshire £24,825 pa plus benefits You'll drive forward part of our new Development agenda, particularly focused on providing access to professional arts experiences for children and young people. You'll develop and implement plans for education and learning.

Regional Landscape Architect
English Heritage Central London c. £30,000 per annum Working with our public realm, urban design and conservation experts, you will provide landscape design and conservation advice to local authorities, site owners, the Heritage Lottery Fund, national and local amenity bodies.

Senior Producer, Contemporary Music Network
Arts Council England Central London £35,695 - 38,630 pa plus benefits You'll provide artistic and managerial leadership to the Arts Council's Contemporary Music Network (CMN). This will involve setting the artistic strategy for CMN, developing relationships with international promoters and media partners.

Producer, Contemporary Music Network
Arts Council England Central London £28,175 pa plus benefits You'll manage the day-to-day delivery of the Contemporary Music Network and play a key role in curating the artistic season, overseeing the marketing of tours and working with promoters to deliver a season of high quality national tours.

Audio Visual Technician
The National Gallery £21,965 p.a. You will provide technical support for all the Gallery's audio-visual services, which include the running of a fully equipped 328-seat, multi-purpose theatre, cinemas and conference rooms.


You couldn't make these up! Contemporary music network?

Performing arts just springs to mind those awful things they made us sit through at school. "Community theatre" - challenging the contemporary issues that affect today's youth. Jesus help us.

"Head of Diversity" You get paid £35k a year to play spot the difference? Or you have to strategise and implement, establishing key teams that can operationalise according to the needs of all stakeholders.

Hrrm, sounds like any job description for the NHS or Department of Health...

Pile of wank.