My day out

"My day out" posts might become a frequent feature of this blog throughout the summer (should we have one this year).

I went to the "largest municipal park in Europe" this afternoon. That would be Heaton Park in North Manchester. There's a little farm thing there and that's where I met this goat. I think it's a she goat who's about to give birth to lots of little goats.

At the farm, there was a calf called Dexter and thick Manchester people were feeding Dexter bread. Bread, I ask you!

The park would've been lovely if there weren't so many people there: too many people making too much noise - particularly in the children's play area that was my idea of Hell.

There was a delightful gang of 13-15 year olds: the Lambrini-guzzling girls were scantily-clad to resemble whores, while the boys were all wearing, yes you guessed it, track pants tucked into their socks, baseball caps and hooded tops. Still at least it's nice that they can express their individuality by all dressing the same.

I wanted to find the more secluded parts where strangers meet for sex, but my sister wouldn't let me. She wanted an ice cream instead, and said that there probably wasn't an ice cream van near where people were dogging. I thought that would be an ideal spot for an ice cream van - couples could refresh themselves with a Flake 99 or a jubbly before moving on to the next shag. There's no such thing as enterprise anymore.