Basically, loads of countries in Europe (plus Israel for some reason) enter a song to the Eurovision Song Contest, which is hosted by the winnng nation from the previous year. The songs are performed, then each of the countries (plus a load more not even in the contest) conducts a phone vote of their public (allegedly) to decide how points are allocated amongst the deserving songs. A maximum of 12 point is on offer in each round of voting, so a song can get 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 10 or 12 points. After all the countries report their votes, they're totted up and the winner is proclaimed.
Just look at how the scores went from the final table for the 2005 contest (clicky).
You'll see that all the Balkan nations vote for each other, then all the Baltic nations vote for their own neighbours (plus Russia), all the old Eastern Bloc countries vote for their mates. Cyprus always votes for Greece, Turkey always votes for Greece, Greece generally votes for Cyprus or Greece. No fucker votes for the UK because everybody hates Tony Blair. Nobody votes for Germany because they still haven't got over the war. Nobody likes France because they're a bunch of pigs.
Why don't they just ditch the fucking dreadful songs and get all these countries to have a vote on who they like and who they don't like. Then the big guns in Europe can get together and nuke the little shits that don't vote for them. Virtually nuke them at least, by withrawing all their subsidies.
Bloody Europe, fuck's sake.
Bastards.
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