Bubonic plague

I've caught bubonic plague: my face is covered with pustulant sores. I suppose I'm my own worst enemy in that I can't resist squeezing anything that I think has potential to squirt out all over the bathroom mirror. My eyebrows need plucking too; I'm beginning to resemble wolf girl again. I'm sure these contributions to my overall appearance will stand me in good stead at my forthcoming job interview.

JOB INTERVIEW????
Blimey, yes, that's something I ought to be preparing for. The whole interview process is a pain in the arse. Arriving, then waiting for an age while they call you in. Invariably there's a presentation in which you try very hard to prevent your top lip sticking to your top gum. This is often done by taking a drink of refreshing water, holding the glass with an extremely shaky hand. The last thing you need when you're in an interview is to feel overly self conscious, but there's absolutely no way of avoiding it with 4 people staring at you and interrogating you.

It's freezing here today.