These images have been severely cropped to prevent injury as folk fall from their chairs.
Tina's eyebrows and even BIGGER specs, 1994
Fuck, what a complete minger.Anyway, I'm not particularly bothered about hairy women, although I do often feel like attacking colleagues with tweezers. Then again, if was going to attack colleagues, I might as well do a proper job of it and attack them with a big, fuck-off knife and finish the useless twats off!
THE CHARGES
- Laziness
- Pornography
- Pestilence
- Cottaging
- Thuggery
Against any man who habitually wears whiskers.
A full beard can make them look like terrorists, or 1970s European popstar/porn actor.
At a push, I can cope with this, simply because of its comedy value.
Actually, no I can't cope with this. Beards are disgusting. They trap germs and they look horrible.
But I can sort of understand why men grow a full beard and moustache: basically because they're lazy and can't be arsed to shave. What I don't get is why men shave a little bit, taking time to create a lovely shaped moustache, like this effort from the lovely George Michael:
Now, to get this groomed effect must take quite some effort, and a lot more time than just getting shut of it all. But I must admit that our George here does look better with a few well-placed whiskers than without. Other blokes just look like complete nobs who are trying to look like George Michael and trying to get some in the men's lav.
Moving on to my absolute pet hate: cropped or shaved hair and a goatee beard.
This look is favoured by the majority of the adult over forty male population of Salford, particularly the minicab drivers. Wankers.
My twat next door neighbour models himself on the character Max here. The character Max here actually ridicules the men that so many of them model themselves on, but they're too fucking stupid to realise it.
Do they not realise how fucking ridiculous this looks? Why don't their wives, girlfriends or mothers tell them?
You just know that instant that you come across a bloke looking like this that he's almost guaranteed to be an ignorant, lazy, aggressive, thick as pig-shit, thug who needs a good slapping. You can be pootling along in your car and then notice that there's another vehicle right up your arse - from out of the blue. It'll be one of these cocks driving a Rover or a Mondeo (minicab).
Judge cakesniffer's verdict
We've encountered just a few scenarios in which the male of the species lets his testosterone do the talking and grows hair on his face. With modern grooming products, battery-powered razors, and shaving balms to smooth the skin, there's probably no excuse for a man to have any facial hair. Because of this, facial hair on men is:
GUILTY AS CHARGED
Punishment
I'd like to sentence all men with facial hair to a punishment that fits the crime, and one that will act as a suitable deterrent against reoffending and one that will also encourage all others to shave regularly and properly. I sentence all the accused to have full body waxing - including the knackers, very slowly on the knackers - in full view of their mates. The punishment may seem draconian, but it should be fun to watch.
A postscript
When some men shave, why to they miss those little clusters of hairs that grow high on their cheekbones. What the fuck is hair growing there for in the first place???
And what the fuck is all this about?
Who on earth could possibly think they looked good with lamb (or mutton) chop whiskers?? They look RIDICULOUS!
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