Can you imagine...

... If were having an argument with somebody, things were getting heated with the potential it to become violent and they suddenly called you a "fucking twot!".

"Wot, wot, wot? Rather, I say!"

It just doesn't sound right.

It's NOT right.

But I'm starting a new trend with the introduction of the word "twot" into British English. I'm going to see how long it takes before somebody notices that I'm actually saying twat. This can be done on a number of levels, the challenge is to see how high up the food chain you can get and still get away with it.


It's great up north
Of course, cunt is often said to be the most offensive word EVER. So, imagine the fun you can have saying it, without actually saying it.

Many folk with a northern-ish English accent will abbreviate their spoken words, so that two or more become joined into one. Frexample, "isn't it" often becomes the word "innit", or even "intit". Now, it's the second of these that deserves closer inspection because you can have such a lot of fun when you say words such as isn't, wasn't by effectively deleting the "s" so that isn't becomes "int" and wasn't becomes "want". You see where this is going?

Well, when this Rule of the North is applied to the words, "wouldn't", "shouldn't" and "couldn't", the "ld" is ejected and we get:

"wunt"
"shunt"
and, fantastically,
"cunt"

Hence, simply by being northern, you can say "cuntit" to your heart's content! Cuntit is ace because it has the bonus of having two naughty words in one - cunt and tit.

See if you can get away with this with your own accents and report back to Cakesniffers with the results (or you P45s)


Summer of love
I've had a request to write some themed posts, based loosely on the titles of B52s songs. I need to go away and incubate over a coffee and a few episodes of The L Word. I may be back-ack-ack. I have already done Devil in my car, back in July when I wrote of my car stereo that turns its own volume up and down. I'll try to think up some more, there are plenty to choose from.

Ermm, has anybody else noticed that "Flag" button up there next to the "next blog" button? I'm surprised those fanny flyers and Ryan J haven't been along, click, click, clicking away! Fuck 'em.


Finally, the song contest:

"I come home in the morning light"