What has become of me?

I have just ordered a legitimate copy of Office XP.

After years of using not-exactly-legal software, this will mean that my home PC has legitimate copies of all the software that I use.

What does this mean for me? What have I become?

Let's face it, there's no way on earth I'd have ordered it a its real price (something in excess of £200). However, Microsoft have this home use programme whereby certain people who use their products at work, can buy the same stuff for home use at a HUGE discount. They seem to have done a deal with the NHS and this means that I've just ordered it for £17.

It appears that working for the NHS does have its advantages afterall.


But there are many disadvantages, one of which that seems to have paralysed the NHS's human resources function (and workforce) for the past 18 months is something called "Agenda for Change". This is supposed to be a fair and transparent way of working out how much people should be paid and documenting what they need to do and what skills people need to perform their jobs. It's a load of bollocks that is basically a cost-cutting excercise whereby anybody in a non-clinical role is downgraded.

The people here were graded a couple of weeks ago, clearly not their satisfaction, since the conversation for the first three hours of every single day revolves around agenda for change. "We do this, we do that, we're dead busy". Obviously very busy if you can take half a day to constantly moan on about this and then kick off again the following day, and the one after that.

Of course, it's all a big conspiracy that's been led by the Evil Empire at the main hospital of the Trust, Base 2b. Nothing to do with the fact that the entire system is totally shambolic and that everyone in the NHS is being shafted by the government - again.

Toga!
Those fucking bastardswho stole Toga the penguin chick from a zoo want their fucking heads ripping off, preferably by a tiger. Toga was too young to be separated from its mother and needed a special diet. Its parents have been pining for it since its theft at the weekend and now it appears its body may have turned up in a carrier bag.

Why would anybody do that?

Fucking bastards. I hope they endure very slow and painful deaths. I generally hate people, and much prefer animals and it gets me so upset and angry when I hear about this sort of thing.

When I win the lottery, I'm going to set up and run a sanctury for abused animals. I will also fund a programme of work to hire assassins to kill any fucker who is found guilty of animal cruelty. It won't be a quick death. I will, of course, burn their houses down too.

Some good new though. I was very pleased to learn of the mugger in South Africa who hid in a zoo's tiger compound to evade capture from police. He was mauled to death instead.

Hooray!

Merry Christmas and God bless us, everyone!