Words of wisdom

Mr Grimsdale!!!! Mr Grims...daaaaaaale!!!!!!!

The Oracle has spoken. This time, he has imparted true words in the rules of engagement for that mode of communication known as "texting" - or is it txtng?

"The texting rule is: never text more than twice beforing receiving a response. If you don't get a response after the second text they either;

a. Hate you
b. Are dead"

Job interview
Yes, the job interview, it's tomorrow and I'm actually looking forward to it. Well, looking forward to it being over and done with. It should be OK and if I don't get it, it's not as if I haven't already got a job.

What am I being interviewed for? No, it's not the job of the Holy See, but I'd soon put the Catholic church straight on a few things if I was made Pope! No disrespect to JPII (that's what the Americans call him, similar to "9/11" and shit like that), but he didn't do much to help the AIDS crisis in the 3rd world with his stance on contraception. As for his views on abortion, women and homosexuality? Well, they weren't particularly useful, friendly or kind. But never mind, he had the courage of his convictions and you can't knock people for their beliefs (but they feel it's OK for them to knock you because of them).

But no, I'm not going to be the world's first atheist, woman Pope. I couldn't be doing with all that fuss to tell you the truth, and all that waving would play merry Hamlet with my dodgy shoulder. I won't go into details about what the job interview is for (it's not that interesting), but let's all play a game of Imagine what you'd do if you were being interviewed for the job of:

1. Dr Who - I'd play Dr Who in the style of Bez out of the Happy Mondays. Then again, Christopher Eccelston's not that far off.
2. Chief advisor to Tony Blair - "With all due respect, Prime Minister, you're a lying wanker who's crippled this country's working and middle classes, you fucking tosser. You led us to an illegal war and helped to destabilise the Middle East. Your wife is a twat and everybody hates you and her. Do us all a favour and disband the Labour Party right now, then piss off back to Scotland where you came from." I wouldn't get the job, but I'd have fun trying.
3. A member of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad.

I can't think of any other jobs at the moment. I can't think of anything because I'm too stressed about my own job interview! Deep breaths.... It'll be fine.