Cakesniffy manifesto

Following the release of charismatic leader Tina from a Labour Party "anti-terrorism" control order, The Cakesniffers (UK) Party (we're an international operation) is set to release its election manifesto tomorrow. It's not really a manifesto, it's more of a hit-list that includes:

• The entire Labour Party
• Charles "where the fuck are my teeth?" Kennedy
• Anne Widdecombe
• Rover and people-carrier drivers
• Spongers
• Lazy, greedy bastards who expect everything for nothing at the expense of everyone else
• Unruly brattish fucking horrible kids and/or their parents, guardians or carers
• People who don't give me a job despite asking me to apply and making assurances that it was mine if I wanted it

Who said genocide wasn't fair?

For anybody who missed the breakdown of the British National Party's manifesto, apart from the obvious desire to repatriate everybody who's an "immigrant" (that's most of the population), they also want compulsory national service and the requirement for anybody who's undergone national service to keep a hunting rifle in the house at all times. Well, I'll certainly sleep soundly at night if that bunch of charmers ever get elected for anything.

The Lincolnshire Poacher

Avid listeners of shortwave radio (that's "spies" to you an me) will, on occasion, pick up a weird transmission that usually starts with a tune and is then followed by a computerised voice that reads out sequences of numbers. Each transmission can go on for about ten minutes and it's thought that the transmissions are used to send code to agents in the field, who then decode the message to receive instructions or whatever. One such "number station" is the Lincolnshire Poacher and this transmits from Cyprus at 2pm (14:00 hrs) each day. To listen to such a broadcast, download the mp3 or wav here. More spying info, particularly with respect to number stations can be found at Numbers & Oddities, but don't bother asking MI6 because it's thought that they operate Lincolnshire Poacher and they'd have to kill you if they told you. These things may be a legacy of the Second World War that has lived on throught the Cold War, right through to today. The advantage is that an agent would need is a shortwave receiver and the code book that can be edible, or soluble.

Enough espionage tricks, Hell's Kitchen's on!

My election slogan?

Keep it sniffy!