Cash machine etiquette

There's a certain etiquette associated with using a cash machine (that's an ATM if you're stupid and can't work it out). You're supposed to stand a certain distance away from whoever is using it, give them time to conduct their transaction and pocket the cash without them feeling hassled by having somebody breathe down their neck. Fair enough. However, there should be similar good manners on the part of the cash machine user so as not to completely piss off the people behind them who are waiting to use it after them.

I got to a cash machine just after another woman today. I thought, Oh it's not too bad, she won't take long and it's better than waiting behind all those people that were at the other machine. She took ages. She took ages to key in her PIN, took ages to decide what she wanted. More button pressing and the chug, chug of cards being returned and cash being dispensed. Then something like a receipt or a statement came out of the machine and she took ages reading it before reinserting her card and doing the same again. And when she'd finally finished, she stood in front of the machine for another ages while she decided what she was going to do next. One more second and I'd have twatted her, fucking retarded bitch.

I shouldn't let these things get to me.

I wish I was a Dalek, then I could zap people with my protrusions. I might go and see if Amazon are selling any tasers.


Wet toilet seats
Toilet seats are nasty things. I guess toilets are pretty nasty, but you don't have to have much real one-on-one contact with them. The toilet seat is the user interface as far as bowel and bladder relief is concerned.

Before I continue, what about those weird toilet seats with the cut-out bit at the front - does anybody know what that's all about? Is it something to do with making it more comfortable for men to have a sit down or something? Answers on a postcard please.

Anyway, wet toilet seats. There's nothing worse than getting up off the lav and realising that you've been sat in something damp. More often than not, it's just a splash from the previous flush, but sometimes it's wee. It's bad enough if you get a dribble of your own wee on you, but somebody elses? Eeewwwww! And it's always just beneath your buttock, where you wouldn't normally wipe.