If you have a UK store card, chances are it's financed through them. They also provide hire purchase finance for big things like cars and furniture. Their interest rates are very uncompetitive. They are shite.
When I was fat, I had an Evans store card. It's the usual thing of going into the shop, making some purchases, being offered 10% off if you open a store card there and then. "Duh, oh, ok then". A lot of people have fallen into that trap. When I lost weight, and started buying clothes from Dorothy Perkins (a sister company selling equally vile stuff), I fell into their storecard trap too - but this is essentially the same card as the Evans store card.
Anyway, I have two of these fucking things. I wanted to pay the Evans one off this week, the balance was £1.46. I chose to use GE Capital's convenient and easy automated telephone service because a bank transfer wouldn't go through in time. Having gone through the whole rigmorol of the "press this for this and that for that", I fell victim to "computer says no" and was informed that the minimum payment was £4. Why?
I needed to speak to a real person about this, so I went through more automated menus and spent another 5 minutes till I got through to the equally automated "Nicole". I explained and asked her "Why can't I just pay off the amount I need to and close the account?",
Nicole: "Because the minimum payment is £4."
"But I want to know why. I want to pay this amount before you start writing nasty letters and phoning me up to demand money."
"Because that's our policy. If you want to pay any less, you have to go to a store, pay through your bank, or send a cheque. Don't worry about being phoned up because of late payment, you have a few days' grace"
"If I'd wanted to do any of those, I'd have done them. I want to pay over the phone, now. I want to pay now and close this account. I paid off this balance last year, but I didn't get chance to close the account before you slapped £30 card insurance on it, I don't want this to happen again. Why can't I pay £1.46?"
"The minimum payment is £4".
"But if I sent a cheque to GE Capital for £1.46, you'd be able to accept it?"
"Yes."
"So why can't you accept a Switch payment for £1.46 now?"
"Because the minimum payment is £4. Do you want to pay £4?"
"NO! I want to pay £1.46!"
"Then send a cheque, go to a store, or pay through your bank."
Stupid twat. I could've stayed on for hours, but I was getting more and more irate and was close to swearing at her. What's the point of being able to speak to a customer care "associate" if you can't get any answers out of them? Wankers.
The following day, GE Capital phoned for me while I was at work. They phoned again last night while I was out. The fucking twats phoned again this morning while I was trying to have a lie-in. "I get up at 5.30 am each morning in the week, I'm trying to catch up on some sleep on a Saturday and you phone me before 9am," Mr Hollingsworth, if you ever read this, you're a complete nob and I hope your job gets given to somebody in India!
They phone you up and ask YOU what your address, postcode and date of birth are. "But you phoned me! Surely you should know?"
Mr Hollingsworth: "Please answer the question."
I wonder what would've happened if I'd have refused...
So I answered his question and was then informed that I was overdue payment £7.85 on the Dot P card by 3 weeks, would I pay them? Of course! I'd be over the fucking moon to pay them! If only I could open my eyes to see the numbers on my debit card. I wonder if the amount was £1.46 they'd have accepted payment over the phone? Bunch of fucking arsehole cocksucking wankers!!!
Thank heavens the world can start turning again now they've got their fucking payment.
Am I being paranoid, or am I being harrassed because I dared to question their terrible systems?
The lesson? Don't ever have any dealings with this company - ever! I had a car financed through them once and they were constantly phoning me and writing to me to ask if I wanted more finance. They don't leave you alone. And when you want something from them, they're shit. They're basically a fucking racket and should be closed down.
If only I had a Samurai sword...
This is me, on my way to their head office and the call centres so I can do away with the lot of them. Fucking imbeciles.
No comments:
Post a Comment