Some Cakesniffers do 'ave 'em!

Mothers!

You can't live with 'em, you wouldn't be alive without 'em.

As much as the vast majority of people adore their mums, mums are still one of the most frustrating and annoying creatures to walk this planet.

Take Connie. Please, somebody take Connie! Connie is my mum. She has two other offspring, a husband and four cats. She's now in her seventies and I would describe her as a lady rather than as a woman, simply because of her morals and values. I'd be tempted to describe her in other ways if discussing her "mum farts".

Anyway, Connie is ace, but she's a complete fucking pain in the arse whenever there's something wrong with her. She simply refuses to seek medical help and would rather suffer in agony than go to the doctor.

For the past 36 hours, Connie has been suffering in agony with abdominal pains. Last night, the locum doctor service told us to call an ambulance but she refused, wouldn't let us. I could've throttled her. I was looking for something to drug her with so we could bundle her in the back of an ambulance a la Mr T: "I ain't goin' in no ambulance, fool!"

However, she did promise to call her own GP this morning if she felt no better.

After a sleepless night, I went to work and cancelled the training course I was supposed to be delivering this morning so I could get home and stand over her while she phoned for the doctor. Anyway, she did and he came and diagnosed severe gastritis and prescribed something to hopefully sort it out.

Great! Let's hope that's the correct diagnosis and that she makes a full recovery.

Let's hope she makes a full recovery so that, when she's better, I can shout at her for not going to the hospital last night and, instead, putting me a situation where I had to stand face to face and have a conversation with a doctor who has seen and felt my tits!

The embarrassment!