I think all the major retailers have certain stores where stock gets sent to die. I found a stockpile of hot chilli peanuts at Tesco in Chorley on Saturday. I bought five bags; gave one to my friends to try (my generosity knows no bounds) and brought the remainder home for my parents, who'd only managed to avoid severe withdrawal symptoms by slowing their metabolism to a state where they slept 23 hours a day (or so it appeared).
MacShit
Actually, Tesco proved to be my saviour on Saturday. A running theme in here is my obsession with bowel movements - I have a very active digestive system that I'm actually rather proud of. Anyway, my friends have been working very hard on fitting a new bathroom and their toilet was out of action on Saturday while I was there. I managed to do a load of shopping in about 3 shifts so I could take advantage of the store's full range of facilities. On one visit, I even had a convenient nosebleed as I was entering the store (for real) and this gave me an excellent excuse to check out the the ladies' again! That's one good thing about modern retailers and fast food outlets: their reliable toilet facilities in times of need. Let's face it, not many folks like using public lavs when out and about and, at some point, most of us have skipped past the queue in McDonalds and headed straight for the loo. But don't bother with KFC because they've grown wise to it and you have to get the key from a staff member before you can go. "A chicken zinger burger and big massive poo please".
I blame Tony Blair and Gordon Brown for most things these days; I'm bound to be right a good proportion of the time. Mr Bleuuhhhrr has been in Manchester today and I actually saw two uniformed coppers in the city centre on my way home. He can come again!
Of course, The Mind Gym would tell us not to go around blaming others for things that we're not particularly satisfied with in our lives. We should look at things from a different perspective, turn a situation around as if we were a different person. Any way up, people would look at my life and agree that it's shite, as they would their own no doubt. And what do people in the Uk have in common? That's right! Tony Blair and Gordon Brown stealing their money and ruining the country.
Anyway, I don't want to descend into politics because others do that sort of thing so much better than me.
Cold
It seems to have been cold since September and dark since November. There are three months of hope for a decent summer around March, April & May, then this is followed by the growing disappointment and despair of realising that summer never actually happens here - you just get a slightly warmer brand of greyness and rain.
Running
Running is torture; I find it difficult to believe that anybody finds the activity exhilerating, or fun. It really hurts - everything really hurts when I run: toes, feet, ankles, lungs, calfs, tits. Running must be hard or they wouldn't have made Kelly Holmes a dame otherwise.
Other people's blogs
A lot of other people's blogs are very good and very entertaining. The contributors seem to spend a lot of time and effort on them. It makes you wonder when something goes from being a bit of fun that you add to every now and again to something that becomes a bit of a bind. Perhaps with the popular ones, there's a growing expectation from a captive audience, eager for more. The associated pressure could become rather stifling, I imagine (iyemagin).
And finally for today, a rant about ranting. Looking at these blogs, I've noticed a propensity for bloggers to describe or name their efforts using the words "rant", "rambling" and "random", and sometimes "musings" (could you see what I'd done with my "Over the rainbow" colour spectrum there?). I'd done it myself and I realised that ranting isn't particularly healthy and I didn't particularly want to join the massed ranks of Victor Meldrews that populate the interweb (thank ee, Mr Vavin sir). Ranting, rambling and musings I can understand, but why random? Random??? Surely if it was random, you'd just get a string of nonsense words or something? Having never been a student of philosophy, I can't have an argument with myself on this one, but I'd love to know what would happen if people wrote down every random thought they had. Surely it'd be something like Turette's ('scuse the spelling) syndrome or something. MOT. There, that's one and it's senseless. I suppose it comes from the same sort of mindset that would proclaim, "This random guy came up to me and I got most perturbed". Ah well, the musings of a ranting, rambling mind, eh.
Anyway, I've now gone for "goings on" instead. "Goings on" is quite a good description for the contents of a lot of blogs because people convey things that are going on in their lives. However, and here's the clever bit, "going on" is also a synonym for "ranting". Going on is that thing that mums do really well in a kind of sadistic payback for all the times they fell victim to our whining when we were kids.
Jeez, I'm a boring twat at times. The rest of the time, I'm not even boring; I'm just a twat.
Codeine is ace until it makes you want to vomit and bungs up your colon.And I had another random nosebleed this evening. In Asda of all places. The indignity of it.
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