Apart from my usual "oh fuck off " at the thought of everybody on the planet celebrating St Patrick's day today, I have the added pleasure of announcing that they're all wrong. We knew that anyway, but because it's Holy Week this week, all celebrations of Saints' Days have been cancelled. So, if you're pathetic enough to celebrate St Patrick's Day, and you haven't done it already, then you're too late and you'll have to wait until next year to inflict your nonsense on the rest of us.
Turpy turpy my arse.
I'm sat here, waiting for the missus to get home and I can actually hear the questions on The Weakest Link from next door's telly. At least the squealing baby on the other side has finally stopped wailing after not giving up all bloody night. I'm going to phone our estate agents and tell them to use these things as selling features.
Lay-zurrrr
Having mentioned losing the cushion from my specs the other day, I had a couple of helpful suggestions:
"Your optician will fix another on for free"
"Get your eyes lasered"
Imagine having laser beams for eyes.... or TASER BEAMS FOR EYES! My goodness, I'd be so happy.
Raymi the Minx feels the same...
5 comments:
Waiting for the missus?
Does that mean you're the butch one then?
*vomits at thought*
CUNTS!
I had a colleague who just had her eyes lasered - she's thrilled with the procedure. She could see perfectly within 2 minutes of the surgery, and was only in the office for 30 minutes. I find it nothing short of amazing what medical technology can do nowadays.
Awwwwwww, "the missus." Awwwwwww, how sweet.
Does the missus fetch the beer while you sit eating crisps and scratching your crotch?
I do the fetching of the beer. She sometimes makes me a coffee.
What else am I supposed to call her? Do like in the L Word and call her "My lover Trump"? As far as I'm concerned she's my missus and Rocky is our ASBO in waiting.
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