iTampon

I was going to write a post about Apple's new gadget that's coming onto the market in March and April this year.  The iPad will transform the way we view media, it will change our lives - according to the Antichrist, Steve Jobs.

There have been many observations about the iPad, mainly concurring that it's a huge disappointment and is basically going to be a waste of space, but in one discussion, an observer came out with the following, which I found most astute and which sums up exactly what the evil empire that is Apple is all about:

The language here (and in other iPad propaganda) is interesting. They don't talk about technology, or specifications, or even value or use cases. They talk about "magic". Or "desire".

These are loaded terms - who could be against "desire" or "magic"? But these are not terms we can define easily, or that have a meaning outside of personal experience.

And if you are resorting to vagaries like that to sell a device... then there is something wrong with your product.

There's endless lists of concrete things that the iPad hasn't got... multitasking support, flash support, an open software ecosystem, a camera, GPS, standard 3g in all models. There's endless lists of things it can't do... act as your only device (really you need a proper computer, a phone and this), replace netbooks, laptops or smart-phones, again multitask (seriously... what the hell? My Amiga could multitask in the 80s!).

But where are the lists of what it can do differently... what it can do better? There's nothing. Nothing but magic and desire. And that's what I want from art, not a productivity tool.

And this was posted as a comment in this fawning article in the Grauniad by "British treasure",  famous nob and Apple evangelist, Stephen Fry.  Cock.

Anyway, many years ago, I wrote a post about Apple's diversification into other markets and postulated that they'd soon be getting them while they're young by introducing a whole range of babycare products.  Of particular interest would be the iPood, their range of nappies and baby bottomcare products.  The iPood range would of course have its own docking station, the iPot, known to you and me as a potty.

But I won't be getting an iPad.  I have an iPhone - why would I want something that was just the same, only more cumbersome, with less functionality?  iPood indeed.

In search of salvation

Next up, Sniffy brings you: "The great search for spiritual salvation".  Apparently, although, according to the good Christians around us, Jesus is everywhere, he's not quite the same wherever you go.  I love my girlfriend dearly, absolutely and without condition.  I love that she's a Christian - a proper, nice one.  But apparently, proper Christians are quite discerning when it comes to finding places of worship... and the music has to be good too.

I'm off to look at slate PCs.

Until next time.