Oh yes, it's Viva Las Vegas for Sniffy and Trump as we have finally bitten the bullet and booked a holiday for later on in the year. The excitement! We're travelling there in September with Trump's family: a joint celebration of Marge-in-law's 60th and Blister-in-law's wedding anniversary.
We're just going for the holiday... I'm not sure gay marriage is permitted in Nevada, in fact, I think they've actively banned it; which is bizarre for a state that's home to one of the campest places on the planet. We could have a Blue Hawaii commitment ceremony at the Gay Chapel in Las Vegas. How very solemn that sounds. I'm going to hang out outside an Elvis chapel to see if somebody wants to use me as a witness for their wedding, or failing that, witness to a murder or road accident.
So, the planning begins. We'll be staying at the classy "New York New York" Hotel and Casino - hopefully not in rooms adjoining our travelling companions. But that's just the beginning; what on earth can you find to do for a week in the party capital of the world? Errrm, well there are the slot machines and the Grand Canyon 300 miles away, so that'll keep me occupied for a bit. Then there are the shows! Bette Midler, Cher and Sir Elton Furnish play alternate nights at Caesar's Palace, with Barry Manilow playing somewhere else. I'll need a bit of luck on the slots to be able to afford those gigs I'm afraid.
Essentially, I'm just going to absorb the majesty and grandeur of the landscape... and look at women with long legs and feather head-dresses. In fact, I'm planning on having such an outfit for travelling in. Imagine the descent from the aeroplane, my elegant legs kicking, diamond-encrusted high-heels at the end of them...
You get the picture? Only I think the showgirls in the photo are actually blokes. Oh the flashbacks to Paddy's Goose...
But yeah, so anybody with experience of Vegas, with some "must dos" for when we're there, let me know.
Baftas
Just tried to watch the Bafta film awards on the telly, but there's something wrong with the sound system and I'm getting Jonathan Wross with echo. This bloke is bad enough without the repetition so I've switched to the classy "Monster in law". Blimey, J-Lo is so convincing as your average all American girl from the block next door. Such a nice lass. I wonder how many Baftas this film was nominated for...
Trump tried to make me watch London to Brighton last night. Well, she didn't try to make me watch it, it was one of the rental films that Rocky hadn't eaten and she just put it on. Let's just say that she knows my feelings about "gritty British films". I fucking hate them; they're so bloody depressing and usually poorly acted and usually dominated with Cockneys, Scousers or Jocks. I endured about 15 minutes of Trainspotting once. Rubbish.
You'd have thought that, what with having to compete on the global market, the British film makers would be forced to be right at the top of their game. But instead they just churn out the same old shite over and over again. Essentially, you only get enjoyment out of British films if you enjoy lots of violence, terrible accents and being really depressed and stressed by the experience.
Watched Juno last night, it was really good.
11 comments:
Vegas, eh?
You know they're all gonna think your a junkie.
We're watching Monster in Law at the moment too - only because theres fuck all else on.
Brit flicks - totally agree.
We're watching Juno next. :urely because you said it's good.
Just seen Juno get best original screenplay at the Barfas.
Isn't everybody a junkie in Vegas?
I imagine there'll be more of them once you arrive.
Especially when they learn of mine and Trump's two year residency at the MGM Grand - wearing two-pieces and feathers, trumping to classics from the shows.
Oh, how very camp!
Chic for you two.
Do they make two-pieces in that size? Silly me, of course they do - just look at all those oversized yanks.
Might be a bit long in the leg for our Trump though, what with her wee stumps.
Hey, we Yanks may be a tad porky, but we likes our showgirlz to be lithe and slender.
If you get outside of Vegas, you can see the Hoover Dam. I think it's the Mandalay Bay hotel that has the aquarium where you can walk in a tube under the water and have the sharks swim over you. I'll ask around - I have a colleague that loooooves Vegas and visits frequently.
Well, yes to the British film thing - except for that one director Mike Whatsit who was responsible for Enchanted April and Brassed Off.
...too short
My Canadian great aunt squandered my inheritance in Las Vegas so I hold a dim view of the place.
Watch out for the Mormons. You can spot them because their trousers are always one inch to short.
Mike Leigh is the worst offender Peevish. Fucking dreadful.
Oh, no, I beg to differ - I'll see your Mike Leigh and raise you a Guy Ritchie.
Ohhh Sniffy, you'll just love the tackiness of Vegas, it's brilliant. Now that I know where you're staying I'll cash in on a $300 weekend trip and crash the party and I'll bring Mish-mash and feathers.
Everything is cheap in vegas and you can get an "all you can eat" buffet for a fiver. They won't have any black pudding but there will be lots of prime rib.
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