You know when you're driivng along a motorway or dual carriageway and there's somebody pootling along in the outside lane, refusing to pull in? Have a look to see if they've got a sat nav stuck to their windscreen. If they have, you can bet your life that, rather than thinking about how to drive properly, they're actually obeying Jane Tom Tom, the sat nav woman as she tells them "Keep right" on the motorway.
Seriously, I used my sat nav yesterday and that's what it says, all the time, keep right. I was concerned; there are a number of really really thick people in this country. People who can't read maps or follow road signs. But surely nobody is stupid enough to stay in the outside lane of a motorway when they're not overtaking, just because a computer-generated voice tells them to?
When I got back to the office after my trip, I mentioned this to my colleague. "I bet some people are thick enough to think that this means they should stay in the outside lane", I scoffed.
"Well, funny you should say that. We were on the motorway the other day and my friend was driving. We were in the outside lane and she was going really slowly with all these cars flying past us in the inside lanes. I asked what she was doing and she said that the sat nav had said keep right, so that's what she was doing".
Thick cunt.
I think the fucking things should be banned. If your sat nav told you to drive on the railway, would you? Well, yes, people have done. Because they don't bother using their brains, or following road signs. Because some people are too fucking stupid to be allowed to even breath, let alone get behind the wheel of a car.
Using a sat nav is a bit like driving blindfold; I'm not sure I'm mad keen on the whole, although I admit to acknowledging their use when trying to find back of beyond places.
Pride
It's Manchester Pride this weekend. It's OK. We've already been treated to Belinda Carlisle in Friday's entertainment, tonight we get The Gossip. That Beth Ditto doesn't half scream.
Out in the Village last night, I felt really old. Loads of baby dyke clones, seemingly sponsored by Henleys, G-Star Raw, Hackett, Bench and St-St-Studio Line from Loreal (they're not even worth it!). Many modelled themselves on Shane from the L Word. Why can't anybody model themselves on Bette or Dana? I guess because most lesbians that go out in the Village are 14 years old short-arses.
I am quite horrified that there's a whole section given over to "Youth Pride" which excludes anybody over the age of 30. Not only is this a completely arbitrary cut off - surely a 29 year old can't be classed as a "youth" - but I thought age discrimination was illegal. Shocked and appalled. And so depressed at being so old.
And although I find it a touch distracting at first, it's good to see that all stage acts are accompanied by at least one person who signs for the Deaf. The PA system is so crap that even those without hearing problems need subtitles.
Today: the big parade. Photos to follow.
6 comments:
I don't trust taxi drivers whio use sat nav.
They know you can't blame them for taking the scenic route through the industrial estate thus adding ten minutes to your journey.
Oh, you're so old... My age, thank you very much.
My daughter can imitate the WCM's shat nav perfectly "At the next possible location, execute a safe and legal U-turn."
all those young lezzers with their identikit mullets just make it harder for those of us that *do* fall on the bette or dana side of things... "a lesbian? you?" ugh.
and those godawful low slung trousers and studded belts. on coming out, did they get an instruction booklet that i failed to get?
On the Bette and Dana side of things eh? Come on then, don't be shy show yourself!
In all fairness, I think that if I'd have just come out as 20 year old lesbian, I'm pretty sure that I'd be the slouch jeans, tight t-shirt, mulleted variety - it's in my nature. I don't have the physique for frocks. I don't have the physique for slouch jeans and tight t-shirts either, but we make the best of what we've got.
I really can't stand all this 'Pride' shite.
As I see it, it's no longe about being 'out' and getting some kind of acknowledgement for actually existing and (hopefully) gaining some kind of acceptance.
The whole thing has been commercialised to the point of becoming vomit inducing - the bars out to fleece everyone for every penny in their pocket, the clubs doing the same thing and - and this is where it really fucking annoys me - help only to strengthen the 'gay ghetto'.
I don't know about the dykes, but as far as the poofs are concerned, it's just one long jolly - everyone out to get as pissed as they can and to shag anyone they can get their hands on. Hence why you see the same old faces at every pride event around the country and beyond.
I don't feel the need to visit or take part in Pride events. I also have no need to line the pockets of the straights who once would never touch us but have now discovered the money to be made from us. I also don't need to visit such events to feel 'love' or to be part of a so-called community (biggest crock of shite I ever heard).
I'm a human being, first of all and that makes me feel proud enough. Events such as this do nothing to enhance the image we have, despite what anyone says.
Old cunt.
You know? I agree with you Piggy. Watching the parade yesterday, it struck me how many of the entries were from big commercial companies, simply advertising their stuff, and local government associations pressing their latest beef about the environment or whatever. There were a few smaller participants who had a real message, but they kind of got lost in it all.
I think the parade that Trump organised in the town where she works was way more important. No commercial sponsors, just a group of people who walked through a potentially hostile town to show them that we exist.
The Pride events in big cities are just parties and, despite the bars in the Village raking it in over this weekend, I doubt much of their profits will be directed towards the charities that the event is supposed to benefit.
Still, despite its huge faults, it's an excuse to go out and meet up with mates, and have a bit of a laugh.
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