He's lovely, and I'm enjoying spending time with him and teaching him to turn tricks. We've done sit, down, fetch, get that fucking pebble out of your mouth! I love nothing more than putting my fingers in the tripey mouth of a little dog. He's learning "DROP IT!" tomorrow.
We're having trouble with the house training. Whenever we think he needs a wee, we take him outside and he curls up at our feet. In and out, in and out; when you finally decide that he's not ready and you bring him in, he pees. Little bastard.
And he hates being left on his own in the kitchen. Leave him on his own in the living room and he curls up and sleeps. Put him in the kitchen and he wails like a baby and trashes the place. All fucking night.
It's not so much the trashing of his bed and pooing on the floor that I mind, it's his insistence on stripping the wallpaper and putting really bad lino down that I find most upsetting.
We'll get there eventually.
Pride
Me and Trump managed to avoid being stoned to death on the pride parade through a particular unnamed town to the north of Manchester on Saturday. It was actually very heartwarming to see all sorts of people watching on, many bemused, but many applauding as we walked. It made me very proud. It made me very proud of Trump.
My favourite moment of the day was at the close of the event when the compare spoke to a young boy in the crowd:
"Have you had a fun day today?"
"Yes!"
"Great! Are you going to grow up to be a homosexual? You should, it's great!"
As the laughter died down, we could hear the ears of the local BNP sympathisers prick up. Fuck 'em, cocks.
9 comments:
First!
That picture of him sitting on your shoe and staring up at you is PRECIOUS! I love puppies...
"Drop it" is a good one. So is "Down!" and "Go Lie Down!" and "Bugger off!" My two still think they're puppy-sized.
I love the photo of the chief exec carrying a plastic flower. The equalities agenda means that in order to actually look like we're doing something, we can get local dignitaries to look like right tits. Cool I say.
That's not a puppy on Sniff's foot, it's a slipper. At least, that's what we're telling him we'll make him into if he leaves anymore landmines in the kitchen. And that big yellow thing in his bed, that's a clock. We keep trying to convice him he's Flava Flav but he's just using it to tell us when it's feeding time.
Oh he's adorable!!! But you shouldn't complain about the quality of his house renovations...I'd be excited if I could convince one of my cats to do the dishes let alone redo my kitchen.
Has to be Oldham. BNP fuckwits. No wonder they didn't start anything, though, they only bleev what they see on TV, and imagine all gay men to be uber-muscled, and all gay women to be.. uber-muscled, with steel-toed boots. Plus they would fear "the touch".
You should make up some BNP Style posters, with known BNP figures on them, but subtly change the caption of BNP to "bums need penises". Then post them up around town and run away sniggering. Leni Riefenstahl eat your friend- I MEAN HEART - out.
Look at the dog's FAAACE! And it's AAAARMS etc. So eatable.
Eatable in a non-related-to-my-last-comment sort of way, I mean.
I want one.
Well Garfer, if little Rocky doesn't quit his night time howling and erratic toilet habits soon, you can have him.
Loz, you're brilliant.
Death to small dogs!
Great pup. I hope his ears stay flopped over when he grows up.
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