Is that what they call Las Vegas?
They won't do after I've had my miserable face there next week.
We're off to Vegas! Yes, Tina, Jo and the outlaws are going away on Saturday on our trip that we planned a long time ago, when Tina wasn't as apparently unbearable and depressing to live with. Like I wasn't a few weeks ago when we bought a house together. Fucking tool.
I think I'm doing the right thing by still going... just. I need a holiday and some sunshine (not had any in over 2 years) and Jo's family are really nice (I wonder if she's adopted). There'll be plenty of things to take photos of, and if I'm any good at the Black Jack table, I might win enough money to buy her out of the house and tell her to sling her hook (which would make a difference from what's been proposed so far).
Do I want her to sling her hook? Nope, absolutely not, but that's what that crazy little thing called love does to you. Fries your brain and makes you lose all sense.
Failing winning a stack of cash in the casino, a fatal "accident" at the Grand Canyon might result in a positive outcome.
"It was a mercy killing!" You'll see me being led away by the FBI, or state police, or by a band of cheering admirers.
These things I mention in jest, so I really do hope that nothing happens to anybody in the party.
I'm a celebrity, get me out of here!
Yes, so you book a trip to Vegas with the intention of taking in one of shows from a superstar. Who's in residence there at the moment? We have the wonderful Bette Midler, Cher and Mr David Furnish's partner Elton (accompanied by his amazing performing eyebrow [check out Princess Di's funeral]). Unfortunately, they're all on holiday for the week while we're there, so a celebrity hunt would be rather fruitless unless I mozy on down to the courthouse to catch a look at OJ Simpson, who's on trial AGAIN.
Smoking
I'd forgotten how quickly I get addicted to things. Aren't Marlboro Lights divine? I don't think most people who read this blog would ever have smoked Marlboro Lights because they're all quite common and prefer things like Regal, or Royals, or dimps that they pick up from the ashtrays of outside cafe tables. It was people like these who complained about the smoking ban, but they're really benefiting from recycling used cigs from ashtrays.
Anyway, I haven't bought any more fags since I finished the last of a packet yesterday, so I hope I can get it out of my system and ignore the constant nagging in my head long enough to get back on the straight and narrow.
And then I don't know what I'll do. Keep chewing my fingers I guess.
What a mess they are: a sad reflection of my chewed up and spat out life.
12 comments:
Sin City, baby!! Good luck at the tables - I have crap karma and never win a dime. A friend of mine has incredible luck and always hits big on video poker when she goes. Bitch. Hate her.
I'll keep my fingers crossed for a big payout!
ooh - good luck on a big win.
and yes, why do people wait until there is a momentous thing happening before they realise that actually, things aren't right? my girlfriend dumped me two days before we were due to go and get our wedding dresses.
which is better than waiting until after the walk down the aisle, but it's still small consolation.
Hey Graceless, let's meet up!
Or not. The thing with women (straight and gay) is that they all have such tales of woe from unreliable partners. They've been treated so badly in the past, they know the pain it causes, the long lasting effects and the scars that never heal.... and then they go and do it to somebody themselves. Cunts.
I'm going straight. No, actually, I'm not. The thought of that thing dangling there, waving about like a bag of turkey giblets. I shudder at the thought.
At least you don't get all the tears with men, I assume, "You're not going to leave me, please don't leave me, I want to be with you forever, I love you... but I'm not in love with you."
Fucking cop out.
Talking of cops.....
Viva Las Vegas!
I think I'd prefer to mope about Morecambe Bay, chuffing on fags outside grimy pubs full of derelicts.
Couldn't you do a Thelma and Louise at the Grand Canyon? That would be a grand gesture.
In a Hummer!
Yes, but I'd like to come out alive.
Marlboro lights? Are you turning into a fucking poof? Dear gawd almighty.
Secretly, we're hoping the front page The Sun screams out the headline "Sniffy Goes Crackers In Vegas" a week on Monday - enthralling us all with the story of the mop-headed Manc that went postal after losing three quid at the Black Jack tables. How fucking exciting would that be?
Anyway...
Get thee over there and enjoy yourself.
BIG TIME!
And don't forget our lavish, garish and unbelievably expensive present that you'll spend the next 5 years paying off.
And what were you smoking when I saw you the other week? Rembrandts or something?
Silk Cut, actually.
Or it might have been Richmonds if it was Tazzy, I mean Hippo.
Fucking Rembrandts. That's the poof pub, you fool. You know - the one wimmin aint allowed in? Allegedly. I can't see that being allowed, somehow.
Anyway...
Don't forget our stick of rock!
If you win at the tables, we'll appreciate a proper sparkly rock, obviously.
I've been gone and it took me a minute to read everything and get all caught up. Sorry 'bout you and the missus.
My Mister left me twice (twice!) and it sucked... especially that second time as there were no more wedding pictures left to burn (although I did have a lovely bonfire in the drive with some old greeting cards & love letters, a few articles of clothing, and a bottle of Fuki Plum Saki - for me, not the fire).
I hope your vacay goes well. Sounds like you need it. I had a little vaction myself this weekend. It can basically be summed up as a three day booze and sex bender with a beautiful Dominican boy 11 years my junior (that'd make him 23) who had the ability to pick me up and do naughty things to me against every available surface.
He is gone now and I'm trying to get back to my regular routine, which involves school and learning the finer points of my new job (walked out of the old one on August 26th). Additionally, I will have to find time to buy a new shower curtain rod, as my old one was a casualty of my "vacation". Apparently those things really aren't made to support a persons whole body weight.
Kisses to you my sweet.
-Lisa
Smoking a fag is always divine...cancer schmancer...if you enjoy it, just do it...and like breathing the constant fumes of petrol isn't as bad for you..at least our smoke is flitered!
Sorry to hear your news T, thought you had it all sorted there. Her loss! What you need is a gay boyfriend *beams and twirls* :-D Plenty more fish in the Canal though, eh?
Seriously though (yikes!), my very best wishes to you lovey. Don't let the bastards drag ya down... Unless they're veh cute ;-) x
Well fuck me if it ain't Vav!
Where the hell you been, sunshine? How's your little un?
MAIL ME!
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