The things you do when you can't be arsed to empty the slops into the bin when you know the collections are going to be erratic next week.
There's a fucking huge bluebottle buzzing around the living room. It's been struggling to get about zero for the past ten days and there's a blue bottle in here. Outraged!
You scumbag, you maggot, you cheap lousy cunt!
Radio 1 here tried to censor one of the finest Christmas songs of the modern era today. They'd backed down by 5.30pm.
The Pogues and Kirsty McColl's Fairytale of New York, twenty years old; twenty years of a song that tells the story of a squabbling couple at Christmas; twenty years of people of my age thinking fondly of all the times they'd heard it, all those associations.
In all those twenty years, I had never thought the song was offensive, I'm sure nobody else had either. The most offensive thing about it is Shane McGowan's face.
Yes, faggot can be used in an offensive way, as can so many words, but the problem with political correctness is that it generally means there's a bunch of white, well-educated, middle class numpties scouring the globe for things that they think people who they've never met might or should find offensive. I find political correctness utterly offensive. How dare people be offended on others' behalf without even asking them.
Patronising CUNTS!
Tell you what, why not be grown ups and let people just get on with stuff and if somebody finds it offensive, then address why that is if and when it happens?
And the bells were ringing out for Winterval!
Rocky around the Christmas tree
Here's Rocky in his outfit for Christmas Day. Cool eh? One of my friends said he looks a little camp. I think he looks like he should be supping a martini: licked, not stirred.
He's so handsome!
15 comments:
Fine use of the word numptie.
That hoond is definitely Scottish. Give it a Buckfast or ye'll be chibbed.
He is NOT Scottish! He's a German breed, through and through.
Rocky von HermenSchmermen is his name.
German? Fucking German?
Oh my goodness, someone waft a sherry under my nose!
A German with no balls (has it been done yet?), so no surprise there, I suppose.
Achtung! Ja, of course Rocky is German, he's a Schnauzer! With no balls. The other guy was Austrian.
Go on..Stick a swastika on his little paw.
Or an Iron Cross to hang from his collar?
I see R1 have realised they are being twats and backed down.
I wish they'd realise they were so shite that they'd get rid of all the rubbish presenters who love the sound of their own voices and play some fucking decent music for once. I've never listened to the station and I doubt I ever will. Pile of wank.
Its not your dirk spring teknike you know.
I could tell that hoond was a Kraut. I bet he has a Prince Albert and dreams of Bonios and Queen (Empress of India) Victoria.
Are you a vegetarian like us gorillas? I hope so. Faggots are a disgusting food eaten by carnivorous Welshmen. They offend me.
Rocky doesn't look camp He looks handsome and dignified.
Happy holidays, my lovely, and to the missus.
The decision by Radio 1 was bizarre as Radio 2 were playing it uncensored.
I'm reporting you to the RSPCA for dressing up your poor dog. As he's German, you will be taken out at dawn and shot. Any last requests?
Really, Convict, what is the point of having a small dog if not to dress them up in silly clothes? At lease neither of them are carrying him around in their purse (hopefully) the way people here are fond of doing.
A few Christmases ago, I was attempting to find a parking space in a very crowded mall lot. A couple, pushing a baby stroller stopped in the middle of the aisle, blocking traffic, so as to adjust the baby's blanket. When the couple got their precious bundle up on the curb, it was then that it became clear that these people had a warped sense of the who animals/people boundary. Their "baby" was actually a dog - that they were taking Christmas shopping, in a busy mall, in a stroller!
Trump and Sniffy are doing no harm by investing in a tux for the holiday photos.
I'm going to buy him a chaise longue too. He's so cute.
Aww... He thinks he's people.
Actually, he looks like he should be serving the martinis, not drinking them.
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