Certain things fill you with so much confusion and frustration that all you can do is clench your teeth and buttocks and shriek Nyyyighhhhh!!!! Probably in bold, red, UPPER CASE text with lots of exclamation marks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On the street Chez Trump, the houses don't have driveways and residents park on the road. It's customary and logical to park ones car on the bit of the road outside your house. You'd have thought so, wouldn't you? So why then, does the woman from four doors away suddenly decide to start parking on the bit of road outside Trump's house when the space outside her own is free? I find it totally baffling. She's parked outside her own home since I've been visiting and living here, and over the past month or so, she's decided on random occasions, to park outside our house. It's not even easier to park there as she has to manoeuvre between two parked cars whereas she can just drive into the space outside her own house.
Trump doesn't understand or sympathise with my frustration. I just want to ask her why she does it. There must be some reason for it, but I can't fathom it.
Answers on a postcard please.
Still, it's not as bad as the stupid cunt who visits her parents over the road and takes up enough space for two cars outside our house rather than parking over the road. Selfish fucking spaz. I'm convinced it was her who twatted my wheel arch once. She drives and parks like a complete and utter retard.
But I'm not allowed to get annoyed because, as Trump points out, she doesn't own the road outside her house. Of course she doesn't. But why can't that fucking twat show a bit of consideration and park outside the house she's visiting and not take up so much fucking room? I love the way I'm always in the wrong.
What's the point of not euthanising people like that if you can't even shout at them?
The dog is doing toxic farts. I might bottle some up and post them to the neighbours.
I'm also going to box up some Rocky poo and post it to myself here. Then the cunting postman who keeps nicking our parcels will get more than he bargained for. Bastard.
Sledgehammer
Remember Peter Gabriel's Sledgehammer from 1986? I never knew it wasn't a number one in the chart.
Remember Dido's White Flag? That wasn't a number one either. Surprised? No, me neither.
Good and bad at games
I'm hopeless at sports, games, anything where I have to pit my wits against man, machine or computer. But saying that, I'm having lots of fun playing Mario Strikers on the Wii. Top notch gaming pleasure.
Uh oh, better look lively, Trump's home!
9 comments:
Yay! First!
I want a Wii, but Tazzy won't let me have one. He keeps spouting shite about there not being enough room to play it without smashing stuff.
*cries*
My neighbors used to park on the side of my house where I like to park. I admit to being a complete bitch and going to their house to sort it out. One nicely worded complaint took care of it.
Failing that, a pile of Rocky poo by the driver's side door ought to passive-agressively make them see the light.
Don't listen to Suburban - she's much too placid.
Get yourself over to their drivers side door. Then making sure you have your heaviest boots on (shouldn't be a problem seeing as all lesbo's wear hobnail boots), life your foot (just one in case you fall on your arse) and give a swift kick to the drivers door.
As an added bonus, you could always 'key' their car from the front nearside to the back nearside.
That should do the trick.
And of course you knew that 'life your foot' really mean 'lift your foot'.
Oh bollox.
Fucking interweb is playing with me again.
I must do something about that.
You can't talk to people in this country. Any requests over parking, noise nuisance, anything are usually met with being stabbed in the head with a screwdriver. Such is Britain in the 21st Century.
That Wii game is fantastic. I'm utterly useless at it and my eyesight is so bad that I can't see where the ball is supposed to be, but it's top notch beyond belief.
Piggy, get yourself a Wii.
Will you be posting this month?
Just asking.
Lazy fucking mop-head.
Post! Or I'm gonna start reciting 'A Million Green Bottles'!
Yes, yes, yes. It's coming. Should have something by the weekend.
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