Asylum seekers

The north of England is no longer a safe haven for its indigenous population. For a number of years, southern asylum seekers have been migrating here to escape the ludicrous house prices and general nastiness of their origins. As a result, pockets of Manchester are now infiltrated with nasty southerners who have forced house prices up and infiltrated the populace with their Guardian-reading, lefty attitudes.

Me and Trump sometimes frequent a cafe on the high-street that offers a corking full English or Irish breakfast, along with other stuff that's a lot healthier, but doesn't prepare you for a trip to B&Q and Ikea. We went there yesterday to find that we could hardly get in for a number of huge baby buggies parked in the doorway: a group of young mothers had colonised one of the tables and were enjoying a breakfast morning. Nobody else was enjoying their breakfast morning through the random squeals of their infants and the droning rubbish coming from the mouths of the southern earth mothers. "Oh, it's so wonderful up here; I love Chorlton, but THIS part of Manchester is great. There's such a wonderful mix of social class and ethnic background - it's so rich! And the housing is wonderfully cheap. We're thinking of buying a third to let out to students." How they found the time to eat their veggie breakfasts while talking so much is beyond me.

A man in his fifties ate his lunch in solitude at the table next to the brood. Most of the group had drifted off and as the final two forced their massive buggies through the chair and table legs and people's feet, the man stopped them. "Would you ever consider going to one of those baby screamer sessions at the cinema?"

Her: "Oh yah, I used to go to one at the Ritzy in London with my first, it was fantastic. We could all relax and watch a film while the little ones just screamed - and nobody cared."

Him: "Is there anything like that in Manchester?"

Her: "I think there's something way out in Salford, but I wouldn't go THERE!"

The conversation continued and it turned out that the bloke was thinking of trying to set something up where women (and I assume men too) could take their babies to the cinema and watch the film with screaming toddler without worrying about disturbing other people.

What a load of fucking crap. If you want to watch a film, you're going to be so annoyed if somebody else's kids are screaming away and they're getting up and down to change nappies. It's just another excuse for parents to take over places where normal people could once escape from them. You can imagine them taking over cinema foyers with their stupid three wheeler buggies and then taking over the cafe afterwards.

Why can't they just stay at home and look after their kids without inflicting them on everybody else? For fuck's sake. NOBODY WANTS TO BE AROUND YOU AND YOUR OFFSPRING! If they did, they'd go to visit you, or you'd be invited around to their house. You get in everyone's way, expect special treatment and you piss people off when your baby doesn't stop screaming. Just organise a coffee morning like parents used to do, you selfish twats.


A richness in social class
These are the sort of people who live in areas that are sheltered from the realities that the rest of us endure. The "richness in social class" that they refer to are what we call "fucking scumbags" who make peoples' lives a misery. I'm sure they'd welcome the richness in social class tearing up and down the streets around their houses on mini scooters for hours on end during the summer. They'd love to meet the richness in social class in their local kebab shop and strike up a conversation with them about the latest trends for wearing sports pants just below the buttocks with the legs tucked into socks.

And they allow these people to vote.

And breed.

All hope is gone, bring on the revolution.