Appropriate

There was washing drying on the line when I got home last night. As usual, next door's had washing out too. Theirs stays out for days on end in all weather and must often be dirty again by the time it is taken back into the house.

Anyway.

I looked at both sets of washing as it billowed in the wind: t-shirts; underwear; hand towels; jumpers. Small things. Why were both sets of washing propped up then? The laundry was nowhere near ground level. Odder still was the fact that my neighbour's washing was lofted up to about 15 feet high, and blowing into the trees.

I propose new legislation to ensure that the nation pegs out properly and does not engage in inappropriate use of clothes props.

1. Washing must be pegged out at every opportunity;
2. Washing should be pegged out if the outside temperature falls below 10°C;
3. Washing must be brought it in at the slightest hint of rain or other inclement weather;
4. Washing must not be left out overnight;
5. Washing should not be hung out on the Queen's birthday;
6. Knickers must never be pegged by the gusset;
7. Hang jeans and trousers by the waist;
8. Hang t-shirts and shirts by the base and not the shoulder;
9. Socks should be hung by their tops and never by the heel;
10. A clothes prop should only be deployed if the weight of your washing drags it onto the ground, or if you have large items like sheets and duvet covers and that.
    

So you see, both my dad and my fucktard cunt of a neighbour were in contravention of rule 10. Dad often breaks rules 6 and 9, and 2 for that matter.

TSK!


Gnashers
Aware of the fact that I'd not been for a dental check up for a couple of years, I set Connie the task of trying to book an appointment at my dentist for me. She phoned me back to tell me that they said I wasn't registered with them and that they de-register patients who they haven't seen for over a year. I have to go and re-register tomorrow.

Cheeky twats.

This is just a rouse so that, by insisiting we go for check ups ever six months - where they generally give us a needless scale and polish as well - dentists are guaranteed an annual income of about £40 for each adult patient on their books, plus whatever they get from the NHS for seeing each patient too (about £80 I think).

I'm lucky in that my NHS dental practice is still taking on NHS patients - this means that you get your treatment subsidised by the government - and I should be able to register for subsidised treatment. Around the country, there's an outcry that there's a terrible shortage of NHS dentists and that people are being forced to go private. Because of this shortage, practices kick people off the books who don't attend for check-ups twice a year. However, all the dentists big wigs recognise that we only need two-yearly check-ups anyway and that by insisting on six-monthly ones, practices are essentially quartering their capacity for patients.

Could you imagine if your GP kicked you off their books because you didn't go for a check-up every six months? I don't go to my doctor unless I really have to and the same should be true for my dentist. The bastards are essentially charging an annual fee.


Hoiking up
As I approached the shopping centre on my luncthime walk, I came up behind an older lady who had varicose veins. She was taking her time walking and stopped occasionally to catch her breath and have a cough and a splutter. She was stopped as I walked passed her. When I was alongside her, she coughed up a meaty little number and spat it onto the floor in front of her.

How ladylike.