Why is it that every single leisuretime activity in this country has to be disturbed by noisy, unruly scumbag children and their accompanying "parents" - or whoever the people on the other side of the room are, who keep looking over and giving the occasional shout of "Are you OK there mate?"?
Why can't there be one single thing that normal people can do without their time and space being invaded by these fucking parasites?
Cunts.
Today was Blue Planet Aquarium day. Firstly, it was strange to notice how all the millions of families queued for one entry point while there were loads of others free with no queue - but you had to open a door to get these. We walked to the front and got in. Having had nothing to eat, we risked the "restaurant", which was set up a bit like a burger bar thing: choose a queue in front of a till point, wait to be served. Again, loads of people chose the first queue that they got to, and queued to the back of the restaurant, while we walked to the front of a free till. This didn't make the food any better/edible, but we avoided going hypo.
Are people really stupid or something? I mean, really, criminally stupid?
Unfortunately, there's a definite inverse correlation between fertility and IQ: stupid people really can't help but breed, and breed, and breed some more. The country has a worryingly extremely high proportion of the thickest low-life on the planet. Most of fish had nervous systems that were far more advanced than the vast majority of the fools who were gauping through the glass at them, holding their camera phones at arms length to take photos that they probably don't know how to retrieve.
In the enclosed spaces , there was a pervading smell of biscuits and stale cigarattes emanating from the least savoury amongst us. This is a common phenomenon amongst the great unwashed. It's as if they mash up biscuits with something and dip their tracksuits and hair in it. When I was young, our neighbours had the smell of eau de tomato ketchup and sour butter, this sometimes alternated with meat and potato pie; neither were pleasant, although the people weren't that bad. Is it that difficult to have a bath and get a washing machine on all your benefits? Even budgeting for fags, Diamond White and bingo, there must be something you can apply for that allows you to wash your clothes once in while.
Stinking bastards.
True Grit
Had some spinach tonight - from Sainsbury's - it was full of grit. They never show Jamie Oliver tipping a load of the stuff from a bag, "pan-frying" it and then having to bin it because it's inedible, do they? Fuckers.
Fruit
Why can't you buy fruit that you can eat from supermarkets without paying a premium rate for it? You buy either plums or nectarines that are rock hard and edible in 3 days - then they go off immediately, so you have to eat the entire punnet within the critical 3 hour window and then you get guts ache and shit yourself. Or you can pay twice the price for stuff that you can eat now. The choice is yours.
Or you could just have an ice cream or a Twix.
19 comments:
Fucking parasites,cunts,bastards,stinking bastards,fuckers.
I thought looking at fish was supposed to be relaxing.
*contemplates buying a big fuck off aquarium*
We've just had a punnet of gorgeous ready-to-eat nectarines from Morrisons.
Right fucking juicy they were too!
I can't believe we got them in Morrisons of all places.
The distributor must have made some kind of mistake.
*boots SID in the nuts on the way out*
I hate kids.
*kicks SID and Piggy in the nuts and and punches Tina in the gut.*
Morrisons is getting better and better.
You're all twats. I see your punches and raise you by burning your houses down.
I raise your arson attacks and nuke Salford.
Then Vancouver Island twice.
Just as long as you nuke Salford while I'm away after the weekend, I don't care.
Just bought some rock-hard peaches and really sour plums from Tesco. Nice.
The "great unwashed" here in Edmonton smell like mouthwash and urine. I think I'd take the smell of biscuits and stale cigarettes anyday. I hate people...
Mouthwash is way too advanced for the fucktards over here. They're about at the level of chewing on tree bark.
No can do,Salford has been nuked already.
cunts all of you.
And there's no point nuking Northern Ireland since the inhabitants already fucked the place over.
I wouldn't mind the mouthwash if they were using it to freshen up. Rather they're drinking it. Ick.
However, the most interesting (?) smell I've ever come across the stench of rotting meat coming from a guy infront of me on the bus. No where to go, stuck behind him with an open window blowing his stench back towards me...oh god, why can Canadians smell like biscuits?
Canadians smell better than Americans.
Well, someone has to.
Apart from April, who smells like that sad old donkey that we saw on Blackpool beach a long time ago.
The donkey's probably dead now.
Poor thing.
And did we tell you that SID's earthangels stunk of piss? Fucking reeking of it, they were. Complete with that fuzzy haze around them that made it difficult to focus on them.
They all still piss the bed you know.
Gawd knows how the oldest one is going to cope at Uni with all her friends taking the piss (no pun intended) out of her for smelling like an old woman in the post office queue.
At least they can piss.
Poor Tazzy has to empty your bags for you every 10 minutes.
We were all amazed at how much they can hold.
I can't believe how these posts descend into slanging matches and exchanges of the most horrible insults. But I'm really glad that they do.
Keep it up, cunts.
In a past life I worked for a software firm. One of our products was some hardware/software to count people into shops.
Anyway, occasionally (often) I was sent out to set these things up: configure them and testt by standing by the door counting people in and out.
One day in the north of England I was amazed to see some people who'd walk right up to a manual door, realise it won't open by itself, and walk around a barrier to another door that will!
Here's to technology, folks. Sometimes I wonder if it's all too safe these days. We've all but eradicated natural selection in the human race. There was a time millenia ago, where stupid people would get eaten by monsters and thus not be able to procreate. These days you can walk away unhurt after driving your can into some poor sod's house!
I meant automobile, by the way. Not the toilet. If you walk away after driving your toilet into someone's house then power to ya!
well, americans smell better than piggy. piggy has this rank odor that is absolutely disgusting and impossible to identify. poor tazzy must have no sense of smell in order to endure living with that glorified piece of breakfast food that we call piggy.
I sometimes smell of kebab and chilli sauce, but not very often.
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