One of my early Cakesniffy posts concerned the adulation of Aldi by my colleagues here. I scoffed as they anticipated the following week's special offers and wondered how they could spend an entire day talking about Aldi bargains. Well, I too am a real fan of Aldi, although I don't think I could spend a whole day extoling its virtues.
Next week, I can pick up a blood pressure monitor for a tenner, a four-slice toaster for fifteen quid, a USB-enabled portable CD radio cassette for £20, or some nectarines at 44p a punnet. All bargains, all fantastic quality.
In addition to the bargains, there are the every day groceries that cost a fraction of the price that you'd pay in the real shops - the only difference is that they aren't brand names. I'm particularly partial to their wholemeal rye bread (69p compared with 99p at Tesco) with a nice spreading of pate. Aldi do a selection of pates too, and this is where I get confused. I like the pate that is nice and smooth, but I can't abide the one that resembles mashed up cat food. One is Brussels and one is Ardennes, but I can never remember which is which.
In a game of pate Russian roulette today, I lost. When will I ever learn that it's Brussels pate that I like and not Ardennes? Honestly.
On returning to work after my shopping expedition, I immediately noticed a very strong fishy smell on the upstairs landing of the building (where my office is). I went into the kitchen where the smell was stronger. I realised that somebody had drained a packet of prawns into the kitchen sink and not rinsed it down with hot water, thus allowing the fishy liquor to fester in the sink. How delightful.
Sniffy newsround - Having a Barney and other shite on the BBC news website today
When somebody has a tantrum, or flies off into a rage or argument with somebody, it's sometimes described as "having a barney". Some pooches take their names too seriously. Fantastic.
Also in the news, it's nice to see that Tony Blair is continuing with his insane plan to introduce ID cards. "They're still going to be in the Labour manifesto for the next general election".
Fuck that. That tosser will have escaped the country by then and been installed as the latest hot property on the US talk show and lecture circuit. How nice for some to be able to leave behind the chaos that they created.
And they wonder why 54% of people polled said they'd considered emigrating from the UK - with 13% hoping to do so in the next couple of years.
Ho hum. I knew I should've dug my heels in and claimed asylum while I was in Canada.
Positive discrimination
I'd hate to be blind and I don't think I'd cope too well if I lost my sight. But blind people do cope, and very well too. People are very adaptable, remarkable even, and they either learn ways of dealing with their disabilities in order that they do not cause handicap, or there are other aids that can be used to allow folk to get on with their lives.
Why do blind people get the cutest dogs though? I just saw a black labrador puppy that was being trained as a guide dog. He was SO cute, but utterly rubbish at obeying instructions; plodding along with his big feet, sniffing all the pasty wrappers that had been dropped on the floor, head lolling about as he wandered along, ignoring his handler.
I wonder if there's somewhere I could buy a guide dog reject?
19 comments:
A common one at our office is mackerel juice/oil poured down the sink and the tin left on top of the bin with the bin lid wide open.
I live close to a blind dog puppy training school and often have to shepherd Mrs C around the particularly cute puppies. It was even worse when our friends' springer pupped; I had to search Mrs C's pockets each time we left.
Mmmmm pate with the ` on it or whatever.
Don't know if you can buy a guide dog reject, but they do find homes for them when the dogs are getting on in years-once they retire from guiding (sans pension). I suspect it's because they'd like the dogs to enjoy a work-free environment for the last few years of their life. I believe 8 years old or so is when they typically retire the guide dogs.
There does exist police dog rejects and knowing your love of the Manchester 5-0...give them a call. Perhaps you could have some real fun with your neighbours if you owned a massive German Shepard reject.
Police dogs are ace, but a bit big.
Anyway, I don't want some bloody dog pensioner, I want a puppy that can grow old with me. As soon as its ears start to get grey, it's getting tied to a tree and left down the woods for the doggers to pick up.
I must restrain myself. I cannot have a dog. But setting a huge Alsatian on those fuckers next door would be excellent fun. Not sure how Max would react.
Most of the training centers offer the rejects up to willing adopters. If you aren't patient enough to wait for a guide dog school dropout you can follow around a trainer and keep slipping the guide to be bits of meat and sabotaging its training.
OH! I like rainypete's idea....when all else fails, sabotage!
Shouldn't joke about this. My understanding is that there is a growing concern over the rate of pedigree dog thefts from their owners as they walk them. But that's the UK for you!
It does sound like a very cunning plan though... That young boy today would've done anything for a bit of sausage, I could tell from his eyes.
Di you say 'toaster'? What utter sacrilege! After all that ranting you did about them a few months back, too!
Are you going to buy one then?
Am I fuck going to buy one, and i never will! It was just the first thing I saw on the flyer and i thought some people might find it of interest.
Why is it always dogs that are trained for the guiding the blind?
I would want a guide tiger or a guide elephant.
The fuckers would move when they see me coming.
Good point SID. And I'd like my white stick to be a cattle prod too.
It'd be a good use for children I suppose. The little fuckers should really give something back to society instead of sponging off everyone. Thick buggers would have all the blind folk knocked over because they wouldn't be able to resist running out into traffic.
I'd want a guide kangaroo.
Think of the fun!
I recall seeing a program where someone had a guide pony. Shetland size and it had leather type shoes so it could go into supermarkets without slipping.
Not certain but I might've seen a guide pig but that may have been a dream after overdosing on bacon sarnies.
Puppies are adorable. Dogs are occasionally adorable, but most often a pain. They think they're still puppies even when they are quite a bit more, er, substantial. They require enormous amounts of discipline and training, too. Worse than having kids.
Brussels best; Ardennes awful
Labs are ace. I had a golden one. Bit thick but perfect company. I'm convinced only the blind folk get the intelligent ones, the rest of us get the Tim nice but dims.
If I was was blind I would like a vicious ocelot. Pavement botherers would step aside instantly.
Hey old girl I do love your blog.
Ilike the way you rattle on, and am impressed with your vocabulary.
You do have a somewhat vitrolic attitude towards some trivia but all in all, I am here every day to learn more of what sets a body off.
That's because she's insane, delehante.
Fucking lunatic, she is.
Are you being held prisoner in Aldi, Sniffy?
Bring us a tub of cottage cheese when they release you, there's a good girl.
You have an outstanding good and well structured site. I enjoyed browsing through it » » »
Post a Comment