Wash that mouth out!

I admit it, I'm a bit of a potty mouth.

What started off as a bit of a joke has become a really bad habit and now I can't put a sentence together without including expletives. I really do need my mouth washing out with soap and water.

I was in Norfolkland over the weekend and I used my toothbrush that lives with my friends. People who know me will verify this; I have toothbrushes all over the country. It just saves me worrying about packing mine the night before I'm due to set off to visit my friends. Plus, there's nothing worse than transporting a soggy toothbrush - well there is, but you know what I mean.

While I'm not there, my toothbrush lives in a drawer in one of the spare bedrooms. This is the same drawer that Cath's mum stores her own special brand of 20p a bottle purple shower gel (supermarket own brand purple shower gel has got to be the foulest smelling shite on the planet - apart from shite). Cath's mum brings her own shower gel because the Calvin Klein stuff clearly wasn't good enough. Then again, she takes her own food too. ANYWAY. Imagine my delight to find late on Friday night that my toothbrush had been sat in a puddle of foul-smelling cheapo purple shower gel! No amount of rinsing could get rid of that stuff brushing my teeth brought back memories of a childhood incident when I mistakenly used my dad's shaving cream because it was in a tube that was the same shape as the toothpaste tube.

Yeeeeuch.

I've known my friends in Norfolk for a long time and I also know parents and things. They're just parents and families the same as anybody else's. Except Cath's mum is a bit odd at times. There was an incident on my birthday last year when we came to blows over a game of Trivial Pursuit that she'd insisted on us playing because she thought she could beat win against three people who have 7 degrees between them. HAH! Anyway, she got a cob on when I wouldn't allow her to sing the theme tune to Chariot's of Fire in lieu of answering the question "Vangelis won the oscar for the theme tune to which record-breaking oscar-winning film about running and that?" And what REALLY pissed me off was when I said "I don't know" when I didn't know the answer to a question, was the way in which she insisted on pressing me and trying to give me clues. "I DON'T FUCKING KNOW!!!!"

She also calls the baby "My lickle pwincess". Pwincess. Deary me.

Mental.


Grief
I can't believe I'm getting grief for not posting every day from some folk who don't even bother on a weekly basis! With all due respect, arse off. I am trying my best, but the problem is that I'm quite happy at the moment and so I'm tending to see the world in a new light. This is making it difficult to find annoying things to lay into here. Parents are always fair game, but there's only so far you go with them.

I tell you what is REALLY annoying though: traffic information on the car radio; I'm sure I've had a gripe about this before. Why is it that you get regular interruptions to the CD you're listening to with travel bulletins from cities up to 40 miles away when you're pootling about on clear roads in the evenings or weekends, but when you're stuck in real traffic trouble, there's no information to be found anywhere? You never EVER get warnings or information about trouble that affects your journey. Useless fucking waste of time.


Hot
It's going to be a scorcher today - up to 25°C they reckon. I can't wait to hear the fuss from Posh Scouse. Can't wait to see the get-up she arrives in. She's here: capped-sleeved white t-shirt; below the knee denim skirt; flip flops (bare feet). I hate that noise, that sort of slurp-slap of foot on plastic.


Brilliant!
Here at Base 2, we've now been given notices to put above electrical appliances such as toasters and microwaves. Risk assessments must also be conducted in all rooms where such appliances are situated. Is it just me, or does this seem like a total waste of somebody's time?

I can't believe that they've botched together this shite and couldn't even be bothered to check the spelling.

Health and safety and risk management people must surely live in a state of total paranoia and near panic in their homes. Do they conduct risk assessments for the layout of their rooms, for each task they perform, or do they use common sense like the rest of us?