I made the mistake of arriving at Trump's as she was tucking into her tea (dinner to you lot) last night. I recoiled at the sight when I thought that somebody had vomited on her plate, but soon realised that she was eating cottage cheese on a baked potato.
Not wanting to get involved, and to save my stomach doing summersaults of nausea, I sat, eyes forward, while she continued eating.
Then it happened. I sensed her turn to me and, in her charming, appealing, irrestible voice, she said, "Try a bit of cottage cheese".
I ignored her.
She persisted: "Go on try some for me. Please"
"Errrm no, I really don't want to, honestly, I don't think I can"
I'm sure she could sense that I was going into a cold sweat at this point, bit she tried again. "How can you be so sure that you don't like it if you never try it?"
"I don't think I'll try bum sex either, but I don't want to try it to make sure!"
It wasn't working. At this point, I'd got up from the sofa and gone into the dining room. She followed me, threatening me with the vomit-laden fork. "Please try some. Pleeeeeeese".
I gave in.
I was horrified. The taste and texture of the stuff confirmed that I have been absolutely 100% correct in avoiding this shite all my life. It is fucking disgusting. Watery sour cream with bits of rubberised vomit in it. No thank you.
She seemed to enjoy it though and at least I beat her at Trivial Pursuit.
Pay day confusion
I have no idea how much I earn anymore. I few bits of back pay, along with a national restructuring exercise has left us all over the place. On a new pay scale, and up an increment - my first one since starting the job 5 years ago.
And still there's not enough in my take home pay to get my eyes lasered. I think this is definitely the way forward, but it's so expensive. So much so that I'm revisiting my options for buying new specs.
Parents on holiday
Do I need to add any more? They've gone away for a week, visiting the "home country". It's quite nice being given the run of the house. Even better since my sister is here recovering after surgery, so the hous is secure while I'm work and my tea is ready for me when I get in. What else was ready for me when I got in yesterday afternoon was a cat with a diarrhoea and sickness bug. Why do things always go wrong with the animals when the parents are out of the country?
18 comments:
Cottage cheese doesn't deserve to be called cheese. It is utterly vile.
It's the kind of thing that people who subsist on bean sprouts delight in.
TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP!!!
Yes, we get the message - YOU'VE GOT A BIRD.
Come on, back to the spite for Gawd sake.
I think you might need to re-think this relationship -- she sounds a bit masochistic.
Although I do love cottage cheese.
I vomitted in sympathy for you.
Should there be two 't's in 'vomitted'?
Must admit, I prefer the nasty little bitch too Herge.
Personally, I quite like the cottage cheese texture.
Sniff... get your eyes lasered in Canada it's dirty cheap. You can probably get them both done for under $2,500 or about a 1,000 pounds.
Or is that cheep? No, that's a bird isn't it?
Okay, okay. I must admit that, not only has my prolific blogging rate gone right down the pan thanks to Madame le Trump, but I'm also not nearly as spiteful or nasty as I should be since knowing her. She's fucking ruining me, that one.
I'll try to think of a way around it...
Cottage cheese is fucking disgusting. Now that I have tried this shite, I am qualified to make this statement. No arguments, it's horrible. However, part of the bargain for trying it was a swap deal involving anchovies. Oh yes, good times ahead.
I'd love to get my eyes lasered in Canada April, but I'm just worried that I won't be able to see for a few days and that all my photos will end up looking like Aranna or Trump have taken them. We can't be having that. Why's it so cheap over there?
You've got bloody birds on the brain!
Chirpy chirpy cheep cheep.
you can get your eyes done her for £1,000 April. She's just too fucking tight to shell out.
Or she's waiting to get it done over there so she can have you hold her hand instead.
And who could blame her.
Do you think she would? That'd be lovely
Your sister, all sore and trembly from her wounds, slaves over a hot hob so you can have your tea on the table. She'd probably cut the crusts off your bread and butter too, if you asked. Poor thing.
Cottage cheese is top banana.
Why not get one eye done at a time? You could go back to Canada next year to get the other one done.
And I'm sure you'll look great in a monocle...
Mrs SID introduced me to cottage cheese recently.
Very rude it was too.
Refused to shake my hand.
Cheeky bloody cheese.
I love cottage cheese - especially onion and chive variety.
It's really not so bad if you get 'proper' cottage cheese, not that crap that's not even been drained of the water properly from Tesco.
Plain cottage cheese on the other hand.... that's fucking revolting.
You've never had bum-sex? Oh my. You're missing a treat!
oh and cottage cheese is baby's puke...won't go near the shite.
cause my dear, it's murphys law.
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