- Underwear is good
- Clothes feel right (these ones do, others are far too tight)
- Bosom has finally stopped hurting and I can run again (hopefully my clothes won't be far too tight for much longer)
- New contact lenses
- Satisfying poo this morning
- Wonderful relationship
- Finances OK
- Spring finally here
- Temperature about 25°C in the office at the moment
I'm fine, honestly, I'm really good. I might get a bit warm by this afternoon and it'll be dead hot when I first get into my car to go home, but it won't be too bad; it's only going to get to about 23°C in the shade today - just right I reckon.
Of course, Posh Scouse is kicking off already: "Please don't close your windows"; "Can we ignore the fire regulations and security risk and wedge the fire door open?"; "Have you got a spare fan, is your fan working OK? You need to get it checked!!!! ".... And now she's just gone round everybody on the entire floor, asking: "I'm getting water, can I get you some? We need to stay stocked up with fluids today!". It's not even going to get above 25 today and she's acting as if we're in the middle of the fucking Sahara!
Mental.
The NHS should use its menopausal administrative staff as a combined resource to power ceiling fans and heat hospitals. I'm sure you could construct a room with a water jacket and stick them in it. By giving them the trigger words: "Agenda for Change", "Pensions", "Heatwave", things will soon hot up and the water in the room's jacket starts to gets heated up and soon generates steam that drives a turbine that produces 'lectric. The byproduct is loads of hot water for the heating system and/or steam for the Chief Execs' saunas!
Move over Patricia Hewitt, the Right Honourable Sniffy is here to sort out the NHS for you.
Motorway madness
The new Transport Secretary, Douglas Alexander (do we suspect he's Scottish?) wants to introduce road charging schemes in certain English cities, Manchester being one of them. That's right, yet another Ock Nock Nook, wanting to impose his hare-brained schemes on the English. The idea is that all motorists get some sort of on board computer that monitors where we go and how congested the roads are at the time and we get charged according to miles driven and congestion levels at the time.
In many cases, congestion can be generated by a simple change in the traffic light sequences - as seen in London in the run up to the campaign to introduce congestion charging there. Congestion can also be introduced by changing road priorities and lane reduction (by introducing bus lanes where there are no buses). A frinstance is something that's just appeared on the motorway that I use to get to work here at Base 2a: the inside lane (lane 1 of 3) of one motorway now becomes the slip road to another, so essentially, if you want to join motorway 2, you have to move into the inside lane a mile before the junction, where you often get stuck behind slow moving traffic. This also means that slow-moving wagons wanting to continue on motorway 1 have to move to lane 2 and all the other traffic is forced into lane 3. What a load of utter bollocks.
They say that they need to reduce the congestion (which I suspect is artificially generated), but hey essentially just want another excuse to tax us all to death. Of course, we already pay this tax because fuel duty currently stands at about 80%. Plus we pay annual road tax at about £190 and tax on our car insurance policies. And despite all this, there is little improvement in our roads or public transport systems (apparently, I wouldn't know because I refuse to use it).
Worse still, this scheme will allow the government to track peoples' movements. Why don't they just barcode and tag us? Oh, they want to impose ID cards too. Brilliant.
They're just a bunch of paranoid, inept, thieving cunts whose only solution to everything is to ban it, tag it, or tax it.
Hate them.
16 comments:
Yay! I'm first!
And you started off so comfortable....
can you not all club together and buy her a crocheted bikini, or one of those water bras that she could chill in the staff room fridge before wearing?
God, you're right back on form. Grumpy cow. Get that wedgie from up your crack and simmer down Kylie.
The motorway into Belfast at lunchtime was utter shite.
This was due to the bastard farmers displaying their sheep and overgrown bull testicles at this NI Annual event.
Stay in the country
And fucking roadworks!
I liked the weather though. Hot and sticky.
Apparently the average time for a road to be maintained is 56 years.
Comfortable is the best.
The NHS should use its menopausal administrative staff as a combined resource to power ceiling fans and heat hospitals.
Funny. Glad that love hasn't sapped you of humor.
Do you know, I get heartily sick every time I hear the English whining that Scots are imposing stuff upon them.
I suppose it's all too easy to forget the fact that Parliament, which is made up of predominantly English MP's has been imposing it's will upon Scotland for hundreds of years.
I suppose it's all too easy to forget the Thatcher years, you know - the one's that not only decimated the north of England, but tried out all it's fucking bonkers taxes (like the Poll Tax) on the Scots for a year first.
I suppose it's all too easy to forget the 10 years that English MP's (albeit cunting Tories) were banished from Scotland by the voters, but still the English will was imposed upon them.
Let's also not forget the English plundering the Scots throughout history of oil, wealth, possessions, Queens (the royal ones), etc...
Oh I suppose the English let the Scots have a little play parliament to amuse themselves with (even though it's dominated by Labour MP's who follow the will of the leader in London).
My heart fucking bleeds.
The very next person to say, in person, anything to me about the Scots deciding the fate of the English is going to get fucking punched.
It really, really really pisses me off.
Jeeze oh, Piggy's had an embolism.
Funnily nuff (or not) Edinburgh city council tried to introduce a congestion charge and were told to fuck off by the populace.
That Jock Lib Dem tosser Ming Campbell has just got rid of his Jag and bought a hybrid car in deference to the Green amoeba shaggers. Twat.
Where's the Saraha? Is it nice? To they have kebab stalls.
Yes Piggy, the Scots never impose anything Poor Scots
You see, the Irish never forget.
Oh dear. I'll be behind the settee.
It's either tax 'em or kill 'em. The governments would rather have the money.(that's our gov't too.) Lazy bastards.
For all this money that's supposed to be being pumped into our transport system, I can't see any improvment in service, if anything they shut more of it!
fuckers!
So glad I'm not on the road all day anymore
My favourite passtime is pissing of the scotch. Whenever I have the opportunity I tell my French neighbours and friends that the can call scotch people "English" if they want, coz it's all the same thing really and the scotch don't mind.
My second favourite thing is when scotch people patiently tell me the difference between whiskey and people. I hug myself inside when they do that.
They're so tetchy ain't they? It's only because we're better than them at fighting! They need to realise that the English just say these things because we know it'll really piss them off, but the reaction is worth it.
Anyway, Poll tax, it was only tried out in Scotland first to test out whether it'd be feasible to implement in the rest of the UK - they needed a sample area that was representative of the whole country and then the rest of the UK got it. Honestly, some people!
Another worrying thing I've noticed is the appearance of things that look alarmingly like traffic lights on the entry slip road to the motorway. Surely they're not expecting to stop the motorway traffic to allow people to join it? That'll be one of Prescott's ideas. Tosser.
You should never be comfortable - comfort is the absolute death of creativity.
It's getting harder to vent isn't it?
Hard to be angry when you've got love and a bit of dosh in the bank.
Bah.
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