Get up at 9am.
Enjoy breakfast in front of PC, watching episodes 6 & 7 of series 2 of the L word. Ahhhh.
Get gym stuff on.
Travel to gym, avoiding mongs driving people carriers and Rovers in the middle lane of M60 at 50mph.
Endure an hour of torture at gym; in pain from weird ache in side and a slight muscle-pull in thigh, unable to breathe.
Travel home from gym, avoiding mongs driving people-carriers and Rovers in the middle lane of the M60 at 50mph.
Get showered and dressed. Hrrrm, these Docs do look oK with these jeans, but I prefer my Superstars...
Travel to Tesco, avoiding mongs driving people-carriers and Rovers in the middle lane of the M60 at 50mph. Avoid mong in Jaguar on roundabout who is trying to turn left from the right hand lane: "Just fuck off, you fucking mongoloid fucking retard!"
Fill hand basket with lots of heavy items: 5lb spuds;2 litres milk; bag of rapples; litre of Innocent fruit smoothy (treat); "tiger" loaf; shaving gel (couldn't do my bits in the shower because I'd forgotten to buy some last time). Get to till: empty. Minor success recorded while I reach into my pocket for my wallet. SHIT! Where the fuck is it? "Sorry, I've forgotten my wallet." "That's OK, we at Tesco realise that many of our customers are complete fucking spastics, so, so long as you return by 4pm, we'll put your stuff through and you can pay for it when you get back."
Drive home, avoiding mongs, etc, etc
Pick up wallet, drive back to Tesco, avoiding more mongs, etc, etc, etc.
Buy stuff, avoid altercation between mongs in Tesco's car park, go home
Ahhh, rela.... "Tina, I'm not happy with this pacemaker, I think one of the leads has dislodged and it's making my bosom jump - look."
"Oh yeah, that's not right, but it's a great party trick, have you considered tassles? How about phoning the hospital?"
"Yes, and they said to go to casualty. Would you mind taking me?"
"No, take yourfuckingself. You can drive now, can't you?"
...
....
.....
......
No, of course I didn't say that.
Jesus, my poor mum. Back in hospital, probably needing to be opened up again for them to readjust the leads from her pacemaker. And after all the pain and worry she went through last time too.
She's a bit distressed. She's about as distressed as my dad is completely shitting useless. at least he's good at peeling oranges for me.
Poor Mum.
Still, if we go back to the beginning of my day, that was superb! I do love The L Word. In addition to the yummysteamy sex scenes, it has fantastic plotlines, humour, the LOT! If you haven't seen any of it, try to, tis top notch. And that brings me on to another request: Connie (not Mum Connie, aircraft maintenance engineer Connie, get your friggin' act together and send me the rest of those bloody CDs woman!
Let's go burn somebody's embassy down!
I have no patience for religious fanatics, none whatsoever. It seems that certain people use their "faith" as an excuse to act the victim, to take offence at the slightest thing. It gives people a shared identity that enables them to gang up and cause trouble. As an individuals, we have to take offence on the chin, grow a hard skin, learn to stand up for ourselves through reasonable argument, by setting the example.
Faith can be a wonderful, spectacular thing. I have very little time for religion though, very little time indeed.
Faith can be a wonderful, spectacular thing. I have very little time for religion though, very little time indeed.
Shocked and appalled!
Spooked?
Offended?
Spooked?
Offended?
I dunno, I think it's fair enough for people to find offence in things, to explain why they're offended so people can learn from each other but overreacting is SOOOO BORIN'! So destructive. So disappointing.... again!
15 comments:
It's on it's way very soon T! I think i sent you up to ep 8 right?
Yer poor ol' Mum.... hope all goes well.
People with 'baby on board' stickers on the back of their MPV windows deserve to be eviscerated with a red hot poker.
Wankers.
Hope all works out OK for your mum.
aw, that's too bad about your Mum. It sucks to be back in the hospital.
Glad to hear you haven't killed your Dad yet. :-)
Connie, yes, episode 8. Get on with it!!! Thanks for the sentiments, btw.
People with "Small person on board", "Princess on board", "Mum to be on board", "baby on board" stickers - they all need to DIE!!!! Small person on board really gets my knickers in a knot: do they mean a dwarf?
"Evil dwarf on board"
And there's a direct correlation between people who display these fucking signs and the ability of the driver to annoy the fuck out of me. MONGS! the fucking lot of them MONGS. I can't type it hard enough to get over how angry I feel towards these fucking retards.
There's a battle of wills a la casa de Cakesniffer. Dad didn't do the pots once while mum was in hospital or at home recuperating. Despite him being crap at doing the pots, there's NO FUCKING WAY I'm doing them after a) I cooked tea after getting back from the hospital and b) he's dumped all the dinner plates into the sink.
I might have a codeine.
Joke bumpersticker I once saw:
"I slow down for speed cameras"
All unrelated comments:
Tina, you are so darling.
I still haven't been able to remove the twirling elderly boob image I have in my head, and will most likely have nightmares.
I am terribly sorry for your mum's situation. Right fucking depressing it is. I spent too much time in a hospital off and on for a fucking year once, and I knew all of the people by their first names, for God's sake. And I've got the scars to prove it! I should take pictures.
Your dad. Paper plates? Plastic forks? Throw the lot away when you're done? Just a thought.
Bumper sticker on my car: Computers aren't intelligent, they just think they are.
Can't be bothered doing my own blog. G'night.
Yes, I agree. Paper plates may be the Dad-dish delima solution as we await your Mom's full recovery.
One question remains. Did you pull?
Poor Mum indeed.
And I cannot stop loving the L Word...not that I've tried.
Am currently in love with Carmen. Have you gotten to Carmen yet?
Not been out for my big gay bash yet.
Regular readers will know that I start to get really worked up and worried about things like "going out" well advance of the event itself. IT'll be a couple or three weeks yet.
Do you reckon I stand a chance then?
Poor Mum indeed.
And I cannot stop loving the L Word...not that I've tried.
Am currently in love with Carmen. Have you gotten to Carmen yet?ten to
Carmen? Where does she show up then?
Of course you stand a chance...as long as you have your pulling pants on.
Carmen shows up first with Shane...she's a sound system/DJ type.
She also used to be an LA Laker Girl in real life.
Yeah, of course I know who carmen is, I was getting mixed up and trying to rush a cup of coffee. She's lovely.
Is it just me, or is Jenny an annoying twat? She's just all pathetic and daydreamy and I hate those stupid scenes that are supposed to depict her "writing". Load of bollock.
Sandra Bernhard is too scary to be on TV.
Partner and I fast-forward through Jenny and her carnival writing crap. Because that's what it is...crap.
Wow Sweetie, what happened?
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