So this year, I've given myself about six months in which I can panic each day. And we're not talking a couple of hours in a plane going to Italy, oh no, I'm talking fucking ages in a plane, going back in time eight hours, covering thousands of miles to get to....
British Columbia, Canada
I must be mad. For somebody who has hardly travelled, going on a trip like this on their own is some feat. Luckily though, there's a direct flight to Vancouver from Manchester, so at least there won't be the apprehension about missing connecting flights and baggage getting lost. I was checking out the Zoom airlines website last night and it shows you a graphic of the routes that its flights take from various cities to their destinations. My flight will go over Iceland, Greenland, Northern Canada - right through the Arctic Circle. I bet it crashes. But I'll survive, only to be eaten by a polar bear.
But who do we know who lives in BC?
Yep, he'll be there. And there'll be a wonderfully warm welcome from this young lady.
"pissoff"
Those Canadians are so friendly.
But Canada is one country that I've always wanted to go to, so when this chance presented itself, I decided to take it. So, I'm going to have to spend the next few months learning how to speaka da language, strengthening my arms for my day out seal clubbing and harpooning whales, dancing round a fire wearing a bear skin, that kind of affair. I'm also going to have to lose weight because I want to be able to wear normal clothes.
I'm going to need a higher-capacity memory card for my camera.
Me at my desk
This one's for Piggy and Tazzy (Jesus, they've changed the template AGAIN!).
Maisie the cat helps set up the shot
Me at my desk.
But who do we know who lives in BC?
Yep, he'll be there. And there'll be a wonderfully warm welcome from this young lady.
"pissoff"
Those Canadians are so friendly.
But Canada is one country that I've always wanted to go to, so when this chance presented itself, I decided to take it. So, I'm going to have to spend the next few months learning how to speaka da language, strengthening my arms for my day out seal clubbing and harpooning whales, dancing round a fire wearing a bear skin, that kind of affair. I'm also going to have to lose weight because I want to be able to wear normal clothes.
I'm going to need a higher-capacity memory card for my camera.
Me at my desk
This one's for Piggy and Tazzy (Jesus, they've changed the template AGAIN!).
Maisie the cat helps set up the shot
Me at my desk.
Look at how fat my face is! Christ, I'm off to the gym.
33 comments:
Your face? Look how fat your face is? Hee hee.
You'll enjoy Canada. It's the classiest part of North America. They know how to do things properly up there. I've been to Winnipeg, if that counts...
Seems that somebody has been taking lessons in manners from Piggy.
Fat face matches fat arse, so at least there uniformity.
Anyway (fave word), I've been to Vancouver lot's of times. It's my fave place in the world - It's clean (very), friendly (very) and I just LOVE Stanley Park.
I've stayed at the Pan Pacific, The Waterfront, some place that was like a block of flats turned into a hotel and decked out like cruise ship cabins (weird, but very cheap) and took a trip on a Greyhound bus to Seachelt (or something like that) where I had lunch at 'Molly's Reach' where that old series 'The Beachcombers' was filmed.
Never been to Vancouver Island though, although I wanted to each time - just never got around to it.
Places you simply MUST visit:
1. Grouse Mountain (you go up it by cable car which is pretty scary) and take some pics of the 'carvings' done by the lumberjacks with chain saws - they are amazing.
2. Capillano Suspension Bridge
3. The Salmon place which is nearby it - it's fun feeding them.
4. Gastown, near downtown Vancouver to 'smell' the clock.
5. The Spaghetti Factory (don't forget to buy the glass and bring home the menu).
6. The Supreme (or it might be 'High' Court) to watch someone being send to jail for '2 years minus a day' (!) and to stand on the steps where they film 'X-files'
7. Seaworld in Stanley Park to get soaked by the killer whales
8. The Imax cinema (I know there are lots of them around, but the Vancouver Imax is the best in my opinion - originally built for Expo in '88 I think).
9. The Pacific Centre
10. Go for a meal at the top of the 'Tower thingy' in the revolving restaurant.
11. Go to the Harbour and have some of the finest Clam Chowder you'll ever experience.
Is that enough?
Oh and there are a few of 'our type' of bars which are REALLY friendly (no, not in 'that' way, just very friendly) which sell the most amazing coffee's and freshly squeezed juices.
And look out for the artworks and waterfalls which are absolutely EVERYWHERE.
And the prices you see in the shops ain't what you'll pay! They'll add on GST AND PST (which sort of equates to our VAT).
MOST IMPORTANTLY!
=================
KEEP ALL OF YOUR RECEIPTS!!! When you are leaving, because you're a tourist there's a desk at the airport where you hand over all your receipts and they'll give you back all the tax you have paid on stuff! Ain't that nice?
I was reading about being able to claim tax back for stuff only last night. I'm definitely looking forward to going, it looks an amazing place.
I couldn't be arsed going the gym and I sat eating biscuits, watching "Spaced" on DVD. Well, it's Sunday.
Fucking hell - we have the SAME monitor!
We must have been seperated at birth.
Dear gawd.
Is it???? Let's check, mine's a 15" Sharp one (fnar, fnar), is yours?
Oh yeah! £200 from Argos in August 2003. It was quite cheap at the time and I've never had any trouble with it.
Ours is a 15" Sharp too - We're just about to post a pic over at our place to prove it.
See for yourself in 5 mins.
Consequeyntly... No, there's no more. I just wanted to say it. I'm never gonna let this go.
When I was scrolling down, the cursor pointed at your bum. Then I got to the comments and read indiaiynke's. And laughed.
Sorry.
It's not that fat, really.
Well, it may be big, but it'll go down again if I can be bothered to get it to the gym. There are more important things to be worrying about in life than that.
Consequeyntely - I really like that one.
IDV - Don't you try and wiggle your way out of it now!
Oh some people.
You said it because you thought it was MASSIVE.
We concur.
Yay Canada....! Ohhh, I forgot about all those place in Vancouver.
You mean you didn't do the Grouse Grind Piggy? You took the cable car you wimp.
Indiaiynke- no Winnipeg doesn't count at all.
I don't think two weeks is going to be enough Sniff.
I'm a poof, April. We take the car whenever possible. That's what it's there for, isn't it? And it added fear of cables snapping and death to the experience.
So if Sniffy's going over there, will you be coming over here at some point then?
Where abouts it Winnipeg? I bet these Canadians are very territorial about their provinces.
Which is our LEAST favourite province? I'm going for Nova Scotia because of a) seal clubbing (am i right about that?) and b) "Scotia" sounds a bit like "Scotland" and we can't be doing with that.
It seems that it's going to be a busy fortnight and I'm going to be knackered by the time I get back to Britain.
But what could we show april in a fortnight's trip to Britain? Well, there're are the delights of Swinton Precinct for a start. We could do a different pasty challenge each day, there are enough outlets selling savoury pastries to provide enough samples for two weeks.
Bloody Hell it is true then?
This should be fun!
Let me see now, for starters,
thats 3,000 miles of the North Atlantic's deep treacherous waters,from a height of 28,000 feet, at -15 centigrade,in a little aluminium cigar case,travelling at 500mph?
Not to mention 3000 miles across terrorist target country No 1.
hmmm..
Enjoy
Manitoba Sniff... Winnipeg, Manitoba. I would imagine it's cold and very snowy there. Lots of mosquitos in the summer and hotter than Hades. Then again, I wouldn't really know I've never been there but I betcha....
yay for Canada. You picked the best province to visit of course. Nova Scotia is at the other end of the continent so you'll have to miss out on anything to do with seal hunting.
That's a great list of activities there from P and T. I did most of those when I lived in Vancouver.
Try to make it to Victoria, the ferry ride is worth it.
Oh look is that The Mystical Celtic Cross Stone beside your screen?
I hope its going to Canada.
In fact it better!
It could do, couldn't it?
Hand delivered to VI. The Sniff and I will have to do a Vancouver Island Podcast. Then again, Tazzy and Piggy might get a bit jealous when they realize we're better than them.
PO
Are you going to come see us too?!?!?!
Jenn and I will take VERY good care of you... take care of your every need.
It's only a cheap 1 hour flight from Vancouver to the most wonderous place in Canada... The Okanagan!
Yup there's a strong possibility that the Okanagan may feature in our itinerary. It'd certainly be wonderful to get out there to see you.
So give us the itinerary then, T. I've got questions.
Are you: spending two weeks with PO or just popping in?
Are you: Planning to move there (hurray!) (oops)
Have you: ever done a whole holiday on your own?
Have you: ever survived a plane crash before?
Vancouver's great! Go to Victoria island if poss and do a whale watch trip. I've started a blog. Call round if you can spare the time.
Pat
I've just been over to Wyndham's and said "eloquently". I should've said "eloqueyntely"!
IDV (I'm at *work* - only just realised I can do this from somewhere else)
Fat, my arse! You are just fine my dear! Wish I could go with and see the Queen of Vancouver!!! I know you two will have loads of fun!!! Have some for me and make sure you gals do some body shots! You can drink kool-aid, Tina!
No, MHN, it's HER arse that's fat!
And Kool-aid is shite! It's just powdered, yukky flavoured, add-to-water rubbish that rots the guts.
Like Kraft foodstuffs. Which Sniffy's obviously gonna eat mountains of while in residence at April's place.
It's those poor kids of April's I feel sorry for. They must think they are trapped in an episode of the Twilight Zone or something.
Yummeee, Kraft Dinners!
Yeah, I have to say, I was immediately struck by the size of your face.
That was after I'd gotten over the shock of the enormity of your arse, obviously.
Nice PJs!
Why the fuck do I allow anonymous comments?
Bastards!
If you like you can wait till next time we have a Shapla night and I'll say it to your face!
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