Carry on blogging

You keep doing it, don't you?

Blogging is weird. You want everybody in the world to be reading your blog; everybody except people who know you in real life (with the odd exception). But when your blog spills over into real life, when the prospect of meeting people from blogworld becomes real (i.e. you arrange a holiday to Canada or plan to stuff your face with pizza in the company of a pair nasty little homos), you start to mention to the "real world" people and then you're trapped.

"So who is this person?"

"Some woman off the internet."

"What, from an online dating thing?"

"Oh good Lord no, it's not like that! She has this personal website, and I have one too, and we sort of leave comments on each others blogs and then we got each others e-mail address and messenger log ons and we can chat using the webcams."

"You each have a webcam???? Jesus, do you... ya know... 'cyber'????"

"WHAT??? NO! We do fucking not!"

But then people become intrigued about this blogging business and they want to find out how to see your blog.

"I'm going to find your blog."

"Why?"

"Because I want to see what you write about us."

"I don't write about you."

"Well, I want to see what you write about."

"I write about pretty much the same sort of shit that I go on about while I'm here at work. Why would you want to read about it too?"

"To see what you write about us."

"Oh fuck off."

"You're offending my muslim sensitivities."

"Fuck right off then!"*

I reckon they're nosy fuckers who want to see if you're slagging them off on the internet - as if I would! Are they French and made of cast iron? Non! They seem to think that I write about them in my blog, which I don't, not really - apart from mad Cynthia, but she's too brilliant not to.

*I just need to point out that this is part of every day office banter and that I'm not a member of the British National Party or Combat 18.

So where was I? Oh yeah, carrying on about carrying on with blogs.

I'm sure that these things much reach a natural conclusion at some point. Surely my life can't be so dull forever that I'll continue doing this forever. I used to be addicted to MSN chat rooms, well one in particular, and I never thought that the day would come when I wouldn't be bothered about it all. But you grow out of things, you get bored of the way people behave in that environment. Tiresome wankers, some of them.

I've stuck to this longer than I did chatrooms. I like having the freedom to do what I like, rather than having a theme or a formula that I'd feel duty bound to stick to. Reading other people's blogs, which I do, I often see little concluding comments that folk use, for example, Wyndham's "My day is near", Indiaynke's "Good health and wisdom to you this day", or Surly Girl's "Carry on". I often wonder how pissed off they are that they started doing that and whether they wish that they could leave it off without anybody noticing. Of course, you'd be mistaken for thinking that Tazzy and Piggy conclude each of their posts with "cunt", but they don't, it's just that they're disgusting little homos.

So we say "NO" to formulas, but that's basically because I wasn't bright enough to think of one when I started out.

You don't need an airing cupboard when you've got Jesus

You see, I can't get away with it. Let's try another one...

Keep out of the black and in the red, you get nothing in this game for two in a bed

Nah

Get out, stay out!

Too much like FT's "Better out than in" ;). Tits.

Got it!

Titbumshitwank