Anyway (:@), I've been put on a UniFi account, which comes with one of those energy monitor thingies. You put a clip around the mains cable and it sends information about electricity usage to a little monitor that takes up yet more shelf space and gathers dust with the rest of the nick nacks. The clever thing about this system is that it links to the internet - woooooh. It also has a clever plug system that means you can control devices remotely: plug your device into the UniFi plug, configure the plug online and you can turn it off and on at a whim. Better still, there's an iPhone app for it.
Who'd have thought electricity could be so much fun? So I plugged my UniFi plug in, set it up online, then it went "click", its light died and it wouldn't come back on again. It also gave me an electric shock when I removed it from the socket.
A lesson there then: electricity is not a toy; reinforced by 240V through the nipples.
I'd hoped to be able to play with the little dog's mind while I was out at work by activating the radio or TV at random times during the day. Alas, I won't be able to that until the replacement plug arrives. What I can do, however, is check in to see that he's not messing about with the lights while I'm away. This is the sort of thing you see:
That's 48p I've used so far today. Clever, non? Gimic? Absofuckinglutely.
Hostage room
My living room isn't what it was. After living in my magnolia dream home for nearly two years, my girlfriend has decided that it's time for some colour. I hate colour. Especially matchpots of colour. We spent an afternoon last week daubing the walls with 7 different types of emulsion - this was because B&Q didn't have the sample pot for the colour we thought we'd like. When we did get hold of one, and completed the four wall daubing with 8 splodges of colours, our original choice was confirmed.
Not being able to decorate for a few weeks, and me not being able to live in something reminiscent of a 1970s Maze Prison dirty protest, the paint daubs are now semi covered with the original magnolia: two coats of the bloody stuff.
In the time and effort it's taken to get to this:
...Repeated on all the walls of the room. (And yes, that's Psychic Sally on the telly).
The entire room could've been painted in our colour of choice.
We'll get there.
There's new furniture coming tomorrow, so the sofa was taken by the council today. The living room now resembles a 5 star Beirut hostage cell,
but at least that's only for one day.
The new furniture leaves me with a dilemma: the telly. It kind of dominates the room and I want it more out of the way (especially if I'm watching Psychic Sally). Without a corner to put it in, positioning on top of one the alcove cupboards would be ideal, but then there wouldn't be room for the cable box and DVD player. Then it dawned on me: I put it to my other half that I'd had an idea, but she probably wouldn't like it. "I think we should get a wall bracket for it", I suggested meekly.
"Ha, ha, ha", she laughed, "for a moment there, I thought you said we should put it on the wall."
"Errm, well, yes", I responded, waiting for the backlash from 90 miles away.
"Which wall were you thinking of?"
"In the alcove, on one of those brackets that allows you to pull it out and swivel it?"
"So long as it's not on the chimney breast. I think that's a great idea", she agreed.
So, there you go. I'm entering the realms of the common as muck scum and I'm going to have my telly on the wall.
I might cover it up with an oversized doily when it's not in use though.
Next up: a stick-on electric fireplace for the chimney breast.
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