Rocky has developed an irritating new habit: tapping at closed doors.
It started the other week, I'd go to bed at night, shut the bedroom door, then within about ten minutes of getting into bed, I'd hear the pitter-patter of furry feet coming up the stairs followed by a gentle tap on the door. I'd ignore him, he'd tap again. I'd ignore him, I'd hear him huff at the door and lie down. I'd ignore him, then he'd stand up, tap again, huff again, then give up and do back downstairs.
A couple of hours after falling asleep, I'd be woken by more tapping, huffing, tapping, followed by him returning to his bed downstairs.
Now he's started tapping on all the closed doors in the house. Why? What is wrong with my little mutt?
It's best to ignore him and not respond in any way; he'll soon stop, but it's quite annoying and I hope he gets over himself sooner rather than later.
Oh dear, he's eating Jo's slipper again. No Rocky, don't do that. See, I did try to stop him.
Diplomatic relations
A new colleague started with our team yesterday, she's come over from China. I've been spending time helping her acclimatise to being in the UK: the most important thing is making sure she can cross the road without being run over. It's second nature to us lot over here, but you know these foreign types who drive on the wrong side of the road.
She had to register her presence in the UK with the Police. We tried the local police station in Moss Side, it was shut. There were people inside, but they didn't fancy letting anybody in. "Fighting crime (the people), protecting people (ourselves), hiding from inner city scumbags." The second station was open, but we were told that we could only register at the big police station in the city centre. So off we pootled into Manchester, where the registration office was closed for lunch. The coppers were strutting about as if they were it: "Ooh, look at me in me stab proof vest, with me handcuffs hanging off me belt. Do you like my cocky swagger? You fancy me, dontcha? You'd better, or I'll taser you in the fucking face!".
Cunts.
Could it be the weather?
It's fucking freezing still. I can't get warm. My toes are icy all the time.
Jo came home after a couple of days with Pigsnout. She noticed that the thermostat was set to 22, mentioned that our gas bill will be bad (I don't disagree with her) and then said that I can't get warm because I'm wearing too many layers and I'm not allowing my body to acclimatise. No, I can't get warm because it's not been above zero for the past two weeks and it's fucking freezing cold in this godforsaken hell hole of a country.
Why can't my dog be normal? You see other dogs, they have their food put out for them and it's gone in thirty seconds; they growl if you go anywhere near them while they're eating. I put Rocky's food out and he ignores it for two hours, then eats it in shifts, taking a mouthful at a time, constantly returning to the living room to check that I'm still here. Or I have to stand in the kitchen with him while he eats. He won't leave me alone while I'm in the house, yet as soon as he goes outdoors, it's as if I don't exist. And now he's rubbing his face on his blanket and turning his bed upside down and dragging around the living room.
Oh dear, no Rocky, don't chew Mummy Jo's slipper again, that's so naughty of you.
11 comments:
sounds like rocky is feeling a bit insecure - how come you don't let him sleep in the bedroom?
a hot bath is a good way to warm up. mind you, you still need the thermostat up otherwise you freeze about ten minutes after getting dried and dressed.
Rocky isn't allowed to sleep in MY bedroom because Jo says he's not allowed to. I don't mind in all honesty (apart from him making the bedding smell like dog bum), he's no trouble and it's nice to have a cuddle.
I think Jo's suggestion for acclimatising make more sense - I'm stripping down to my underwear. Once I'm dead from hypothermia, I won't feel anything at all.
I cooked some sirloin steaks in butter last night and chucked the sizzling residue out of the window onto my my neighbours black cat.
Bad karma.
Served the lurker right.
I am doomed.
Guess who just got her very own computer and is using it to steal the internet from her neighbors?
I can't believe people still have unsecured networks! Good for you, you cheeky bitch.
You so funny Sniffy. "I'll taser you in the face." That tickled my funny bone it did.
You changed your fucking cell number and didn't tell me. That's twice I've called and you've ditched me.
Garfer... you will definitley rot in hell for that one.
The reason Bunion doesn't feel the cold so much is because she has an all-over protective layer of blubber. It's selfish of her to expect you to cope with the sub-zero temperatures when your protective layer only covers your arse.
Let Rocky come in and sleep with you - it'll be good for both of you. Perhaps you'll keep warm and he'll get to spend lot's of time with you (which might relieve him a bit of the contstant thinking you've vanished while he's not looking).
And I want to know why the government give pensioners money towards their extra heating costs, when all they do is spend it on sherry and bingo.
Garfer's gonna regret his actions against that poor wee cat.
Finally, I too don't understand people with unsecured wireless. They're just as bad as those thick cunts that still don't have any anti-virus software installed. They shouldn't be allowed anywhere near computers or t'internet.
Have you introduced the Chinawoman to Pot Noodles and cup-a-soups yet? She'd feel right at home with them.
Still on the cold and pensioners...
I don't understand what they complain about. They spend all fucking day riding around on warm buses - courtesy of their free bus passes.
Hypothermia, my arse. Someone chuck them a thick pair of fishermans socks. That'll see them through to spring.
Rocky is asleep on my lap. He's dreaming and his front paws are moving as if he's running!!! He's so bloody cute.
Old people? I like old people a lot, but you're right about the winter fuel payments; my folks paid for a slap up lunch at the local Italian with theirs.
Our Governor gave each man, woman, and child $1200 last year to help cover the rising fuel costs, which have since plummeted. I put my son's towards his college education, used mine to fund a driving trip to Yellowstone (what was I supposed to do? The payments came in July), and then applied for heating assistance from the Government as I am a person of limited means ;)
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