Wednesday 21 January 2009

Hell in the Big Brother House

I have to go away to Wales on Sunday for an "away trip" with colleagues from work. The senior team members are staying in my boss's second home there, the plebs are being put up in a holiday home nearby. Here's the specification:
Situated at the top of the road that winds its way down to Nefyn's magnificent sandy beach, its close proximity to the beach will, undoubtedly, make it a popular choice. The property is well maintained, but very simply furnished. The front of the house has recently had upvc double glazed windows fitted.

Sleeps 20 (+ cot) in 5 bedrooms

The ground floor comprises the main lounge, with French door opening onto the front garden, an electric fire & colour television; toilet; the 'French Lounge' with an assortment of games, TV and video player has French doors opening onto the drive at the side of the house, and is accessed from the dining room which has French doors onto the back patio. The kitchen, also off the dining room, is equipped with a catering size gas range, an urn and a fridge/freezer; the utility room, beyond the kitchen, has another fridge and freezer, washing machine tumble drier, 3 additional sinks and a door to the rear garden.

On the 1st floor are: 3 bedrooms (rooms 1 and 2, each sleeping 6 in purpose built bunks, room 3 with a double bed); Bathroom with shower and toilet; 2 toilets; Shower room

The 2nd floor at the top of the house contains a further 2 bedrooms (room 4 with 2 single beds and room 5 with 4 single beds), tucked under the eaves and enjoying sea views.

There is a enclosed garden at the back of the house with a patio outside the French doors from the dining room, and large & small grassed areas. Access is from the utility room, dining room or side gate opening onto the driveway.

All beds are provided with 2 pillows and a duvet. A cot may be available on request.
You must bring your own bedlinen (sheets, duvet covers, pillow cases) and towels.

Additional Information

  • Pets are welcome

  • Smoking is not permitted in the house.

  • Wheelchair access is limited to the ground floor.

  • Background heating is by night storage heaters.

  • Parking for up to 6 vehicles.

  • Gas and heating is included in the rental

  • Other electricity by £1 coin meter



I, at the tender age of 38, will be sleeping in a bunk bed, sharing a bedroom with two others, who I've never met. It'll be freezing (storage heaters + Wales + cliff top = fucking freezing).Ten of us will be driving there, but there's only parking for six cars. We'll probably be made to eat seaweed and moss and take baths in used water in a tub in the yard.

But here's the most dreadful aspect of it all: no internet access.  I figured I could use my mobile to connect my PC to the Orange 3G network, it usually works really well, however look at this:

[caption id="attachment_1864" align="aligncenter" width="165" caption="Orange"]Orange[/caption]

What about using my 3 phone?  That could do the same thing - if it gets collected today and returned on time  (been waiting since 7am for Parceline to come and get it, it's now 3.30pm).  What's the 3 coverage like there?

[caption id="attachment_1865" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="3"]3[/caption]

Ok then, so they're both non-starters? But maybe one of those mobile broadband dongles from the other networks might be useful anyway, perhaps it'd be worth investing in one of those?

[caption id="attachment_1869" align="aligncenter" width="299" caption="Vodafone"]Vodafone[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1868" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="T-mobile 2G"]T-mobile 2G[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1867" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="T-mobile 3G"]T-mobile 3G[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1866" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="O2"]O2[/caption]

So there you go.  Staying with a bunch of people from work, who are actually OK, in freezing cold Wales, in a single bed, in a shared bedroom, with shared bathroom facilities, eating seaweed... and no chance whatsoever of an internet connection... for over TWO FUCKING DAYS!

Still, I get to go quad biking on Monday afternoon, so if I'm lucky, I might die or at least be hospitalised and then I won't need internet access anyway.

Wasted days

Another day of decent weather has been wasted waiting in for those tossers to come and collect my mobile for repair.  Me and Rocky could've been having loads of fun, instead, I've been doing a bit of work.  Actually  I've had five attempts at burning a DVD of a avi file of a film.  The film plays fine in media player, the video burns to DVD OK, but there's no sound.   I tried a different burning packages, and that just burns with the sound hopelessly out of sync.  I'm on my sixth try now, but I don't hold out much hope.  It's weird because I had no trouble burning the latest episode of the fabulous L Word the other night, but it's now gone tits up.

Pissed off.

Second coming

The installation of President Obama is certainly a historic event.  It signals wonderful progress and brings a certain degree of hope to the Western World that we might actually stop being seen as evil.  Hope is one thing, action and results are another.  It does seem that an awful lot of hope has been pinned on him and, with a whole load of work to be done, it's questionable that anything will actually be achieved.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions and that.

Obama has almost been elevated to Messiah status - certainly by Auntie Beeb.  He's just a bloke with a huge job to do, with a rather unfair weight of expectation placed on his shoulders.

And we in the UK have experienced something similar before with Tony Blair.  I never fell for the smooth talking back in 1997, I saw right through him and New Labour and knew damned well that they'd achieve absolutely fuck all while ruining the country - because that's what Labour does.  It's the lack of integrity, the lies, the erosion of values, the erosion of our civil liberties that hurt most from the past eleven... twelve years of Labour's appalling governance.  We all knew they'd fuck up the economy (but perhaps not this badly), but the snooping on its people, the gradual introduction of a police state, and the sheer hopelessness that has been heaped on us all - not even I would have expected that from them. Then again, that's what you get with a government that is out of control and afraid of its own people.

So long as Obama and his team demonstrate the utmost integrity and at least some degree of competence during their administration, then I will be satisfied.  There won't be miracles.

Rocky takes time out

Rocky has a habit of kicking off and shouting his head off at the slightest noise outside.  I've had enough.  He goes for a time out in the kitchen as soon as he starts grumbling to himself.  It won't stop him doing it, but it'll keep him quiet for a bit while I'm trying to concentrate on my work blog.

Little shit.

6 comments:

Piggy and Tazzy said...

Wales - Yadda, yadda, yadda. That's all I have to say about that fucking place.

Why don't you just WATCH the AVI file as it is?

Sniffy said...

Yes, I could just watch the avi file as it is. But I might want to burn other things onto DVD in the future, or give them to other people. In the words of Tina Kennard, it's totally fucked up!

garfer said...

Don't worry, the house has an urn. You can't go wrong with an urn.

I'd like to bring Tony Blair back and boil him in an urn.

Sniffy said...

I'd like the same for Blair: nice vat of freezing cold water with the temperature raised gradually to boiling point. A bit how you'd cook a lobster. Make all the Labour MPs stand and watch and throw them in with him one by one; working up through the ranks of the current cabinet and ending with Mandleson and finally McBroon. All other politicians of all other parties would bear witness so they'd know what fate might befall them if they ever showed any signs of betraying our trust.

Piggy and Tazzy said...

In your next life, if we're so unfortunate that you're graced with one, perhaps you should take up amateur radio as a hobby instead of mobile broadband.

I gather it's quite the rage in Welshland.

Carabou B. said...

There is a house near-ish to mine that has so many antennas that I’m pretty sure their neighbor’s children are going to be born with tumors and extra appendages. Maybe you could reach them once you make the switch from mobile broadband to ham radio.

BTW, it isn't Sunday yet, so where are you? Trying to come up with a doctor's note for why you shouldn't be forced into these accomodation? I am actually shocked (shocked!) that you would be asked to share a room with co-workers. There is no way my employer would be able to get away with that... um, if I had an employer, I mean.

My little guy suffers from extreme night terrors that involve screaming at the top of his lungs, yelling, fighting, cursing, and running/trying to escape, etc. The only good thing is that it happens when he is in such a deep sleep that he never remebers the ugliness that has prompted his behavior. Maybe you could develop night terrors for your trip so that you don't have to share a room. Or even better, should you have to share a room, you could have a "episode". Oh what fun!