Well, my blog is still stuck somewhere between Berlin and Manhattan, so the old posts are still missing, but hey, why look to the past when the future has so much to offer??
Hrrrrm. The fuuuuutuuuuuuuuuuuuuure. God.
Anyway, somebody talking about the past this week was good old Sir Paul "I politicised the Beatles" McCartney. Yes, Macca (peace signs all round) has finally put the record straight and, confirming what we all knew all along, told the world that it was he who politicised the Beatles. Apparently, he had a cup of coffee with Bertrand Russell who told him about the war in Vietnam. He went back to his bandmates and said something like "Hey, you know, there's this was in Vietnam and it's like, really bad, man (peace sign)" and so The Beatles were dragged into current affairs.
Of course, if they had been around in present times, they'd have been appearing on an episode of the Celebrity Weakest Link Christmas Special, dressed as pantomime characters or some such. Their collective knowledge of really bad wars and things would've guaranteed them scooping the grand prize for their pet charity, which would probably have been something to do with, well supplying pot and acid to struggling musos.
As it was, they had to wait until 1967 before they got to wear the pantomime outfits and it was John who took all the credit for being the political one, along with Yoko ("A Vellee Mellee Chismaaaasssss!"), while Paul was off playing bagpipes and writing themes for James Bond films.
Love and peace to you all.
Christmas triffids
Oh no, there's a whole MASSIVE greenhouse full of poinsettias on the telly. BURN IT TO THE GROUND! Hideous fucking things.
Ice, ice baby
I'm going to ice my Christmas cake either tonight or tomorrow night. I didn't make it myself this year, couldn't be arsed, but I bought one from Tesco and I've been feeding it copious quantities of brandy for a week. Even if it tastes like shit, it'll give me a lovely warm feeling ... until it makes me be sick up my nose.
Beneath the royal icing, the cake will be encased first in a layer of marzipan. Not that lardy dar stuff, the proper stuff that's fluorescent yellow.
Bell ends
Jo is making look at a photo of a bell end. When will the torture ever end? Fucking bitch. Should have killed her when I could've got away with a diminished responsibilities plea.
Saturdays... bereft
Now that the X factor has finished, what on earth am I supposed to do on Saturday evenings? When does Britain's got talent start? I find myself looking forward to Celebrity Big Brother starting on 2nd January, and that's only on for a fortnight.
Fuck.
I need some friends.
Or prescription drugs.
9 comments:
I'm convinced that the 'thumbs up' and 'love 'n' peace' hand signals were designed by Satan to make normally mild mannered people homicidal.
Oh, and smileys aren't allowed at the end of days.
The only people smiling come the end of days will be Crash Gordon - his master plan finally coming to fruition - and Sarah Palin (because she's been saved by the baby Jesus).
Apparently, thumbs up is terribly insulting somewhere in the world... let me think... oh yes check out times online today
Arabs are good at insulting
Arabs are good at so many things.... I wouldn't want to add anything to that for fear of having one of their many curses befall me. :twisted:
Oh look, a smiley!
Is it the end of days yet, or do I have to think about going to work after Christmas? I want to start rioting.... I need a new bra. Saying that though, I bet they still wouldn't have that I like in my size in Marks's.
I fancy a riot me.
I'll be at the back egging everybody else on.
Of course, I'll be at the back too. The ones at the front always get beaten up, tasered and set on fire by the thuggish agents of the government. And when the local council officials have finished with them, the police shoot them seven times in the head at point blank range.
The police were good shots, you have to allow them that.
"He's got fuzzy hair and looks a bit foreign, let's plug 'im!"
I thought about joining the police, but unfortunately I'm not retarded enough.
I'm going to do a special report on the police soon, following the Johnston report (and his subsequent column in the Telegraph) into the arrest of Damien Green. There will be much anger and swearing.
Bunch of colluding, bullying retards, the lot of them.
Arabs make good shawarma.... and improvised explosive devises.
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