Pie in the Sky

We finally got connected to our broadband yesterday. It wasn't as simple as it was supposed to be, i.e. we couldn't just plug in and go, we had to phone Sky's technical support. After a bit of faffing with a very patient technician's help, we were "connected".

I say "connected" because the speed was no better than dial up. Absolute rubbish. I know ADSL was rubbish, but not that rubbish.

We were connected on Sky's basic package - up to 2Mbps, allegedly. I decided to see what would happen if I upgraded to their mid-range package, which should allow up to 8meg, but for a fee of £5 a month.

Having gone through the upgrade process online, the instructions said that the modem would have to be turned off. Within seconds, we lost our internet connection. Multiple attempts to reconnect by rebooting the modem were unsuccesful. Bollocks.

So, we left it overnight and turned it back on again this morning. Still no internet. I was then inspired to use a filter provided with the modem to connect the phone to the socket. Hey presto, the internet came back on.

What sort of fucking hocus pocus shit is this? You can't connect to the internet unless your phone is connected via a filter device? And if you don't use a filter device, you get such interference on the line that the phone is unusable?

PLEASE VIRGIN, COME AND CABLE FOR US!!!!

Anyway, we were reconnected to the internet and, surprisingly, it's much faster than with the basic package. I did another speed test:

Basic (free) package Maximum: up to 2meg Actual: 150kbps
Mid (£5) pacakge Maximum: up to 8meg Actual: 3.8meg (which is the maximum allowed by our BT line)

Aint that weird? You get 1/25th of the potential connection speed on the free package, yet paying a fiver allows you to get the maximum for your line.

Twats.

So we're both back online and it feels like our severed limbs have been restored to full functionality.

Aaaahhhhhh.