- Proximity to the city and work (for me)
- Village stores on the corner
- Isis cafe
However, Trump feels that we might be rather conspicuous as a gay couple in the suburbs and she might be right. Will the only gays be hounded out? I think most people just keep themselves to themselves these days and don't really bother about their neighbours so long as they don't piss them off. I've been warned.
Anyway, Trump went to do the snagging visit at Bellend Towers this afternoon. It turned out to be a full training session on how to use everything in the house (I knew I should've gone with her), but she happened to meet the neighbours. We'd seen one bloke there on a couple of occasions - he has two dogs - and this afternoon, Trump met his boyfriend.
Cheers to queers!
Turkey breast
I bought a new lady shave today. The other one bust and things were getting out of hand in my ladygarden. It had reached the point where I might have been asked to produce a licence for my trouser pet. Anyway, anyway, I finally tackled my unruly bush, but I think I went a bit too far and I've been left with something that looks like the badly plucked breast of a ginger turkey.
It'll grow back.
Cleansed
Rather than going to the GP to get my chronic sinus problem sorted, I decided to go to Ebay NHS Trust and seek treatment for my blocked tubes. I found this:
This is a "neti pot". What you do is dissolve some of the Sinucleanse solution (sodium chloride and bicarbonate of soda) in lukewarm tapwater, then shove the spout up one nostril, tilt your head, breathe through your mouth let gravity do its thing - the solution goes in one nostril and out the other, thus:
Insert
Tilt
Flow
Does it work? Well, I have been feeling slightly better these past couple of days, but I still get the feeling that there's something growing high up in one of my sinuses, so we'll wait and see. I always have a desire to stick a probe up my nose and have a good poke about to see what I can pull out. But in terms of entertainment, this is brilliant and everyone should try it.
Next week, Sniffy provides a step by step presentation of her high colonic irrigation.
Insert
Tilt
Flow
Does it work? Well, I have been feeling slightly better these past couple of days, but I still get the feeling that there's something growing high up in one of my sinuses, so we'll wait and see. I always have a desire to stick a probe up my nose and have a good poke about to see what I can pull out. But in terms of entertainment, this is brilliant and everyone should try it.
Next week, Sniffy provides a step by step presentation of her high colonic irrigation.
10 comments:
Sniffy sinuses. Trump wonders if it's too late to get that contract off the solicitor - Av changed me miiiiind!
Yeay first.
The foo is short. It'll itch like a bastard. And I will laugh.
Correction - the site manager told me 2 blokes live next door and from that I deduced that they're raving homosexuals. I never actually met them. And queer or not, Sniffer'll find something to scowl and rant about them.
That's because they'll be dirty boys who squirt things from their willies.
Filth.
If you sort out the sinuses will you still be sniffy?
What's the difference between raving and regular homosexuals? Is it the raving?
I've no idea what the difference is between a raving and regular homosexuals in all honesty. Perhaps the South Yorkshire poofs might be able to enlighten us.
I'll always be Sniffy, for one reason or another.
Ooh, an itchy hoo-hah is nothing to laugh about! I usually go bare for the summer, courtesy of a depilatory, and I know that the growing in period is an itchy twitchy mess. Still, a plucked ginger chicken would be quite a sight...
That nostril irrigator looks icky. But hey, if it works...
More experiments!!!
I'm trying to think of my next set of experiments. Any suggestions?
And so begins the transformation of Rochdale...
The locals will think we're breeding. What fun we'll have! Especially when we invite the Barrow, Barnsley and Manchester queers over for an evening of debauchery.
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