Spring is with us and there's no doubt about it. Just a few weeks ago, we were suffering very cold spells and overnight frosts; just three weeks ago, I had to rid my car's windscreen of ice before I could drive it to work.
Now, we're basking in sunshine and temperatures of 19°C, rising to 23°C by the end of the week (a good temperature for July over here). This has brought out the daisies and dandelion wet the beds (more later) on the field at the back of Tumpsniffer Towers. The fine weather has also brought out the children and families who play there.
Kids playing football, kids playing cricket. No bother, just enjoying themselves and getting hot and sticky before teatime. There's no better way of enjoying your evening meal other than red in the face, head pounding, sweaty and covered in dirt and grass stains. Good for them.
On closer inspection, one thing becomes apparent: cricket is played exclusively by the Asian kids; football by the white ones. No black children are there; they're probably doing their homework under threat of death from their mums.
I wonder why Asian folk don't seem to play football. Cricket is such a shit sport: five days to play a game; you stop for tea; stop if it goes a bit dark or wet; five days to play a game and you can still get a draw! What sort of nonsense is that? Make them play in the rain, that'd make it a bit interesting at least.
Ongoing sagas
Since starting this blog, I have on numerous occasions, made mention of my long term battle with contact lenses. I got some new ones through the post this weekend. Firstly, I couldn't tell which one went in which eye because the only information about this was on a label on the box that had been thrown in the bin. When I finally got them the right way round, the prescription on one of them is out and I can't see too well through it.
My right eye aches like a total bastard because I've been squinting all day and now I'm getting a headache.
When the moon hits your eye
This filled me with glee. I always give those face on speed cameras the two fingers, but I wish I could persuade Trump to do this.
Newness
Orange phoned me up today and told me they were changing my tariff and sending me a new phone. Good old Orange.
Dandelion wet the bed
Dandelions make you wet the bed if you touch them.
9 comments:
yeay, first!
I would moon trough the car window, if I thought that my arse wouldn't cover the entire windscreen.
Sniff actually said the words "shall we make Rocky a daisy chain?"
Poor little lad's had his nuts chopped off and now she's suggesting doggy sex games!
Rocky's just trying an Oreo. Those dark biscuits sure do make a mess!
You should've stayed in Norfolk this week - It was 50 bazillion degrees here today. Bloody sunshine. I'm half blind and have pteradactyls feet from all the squinting. Bah!
I remember picking dandelions as a kid then chasing my sisters around trying to touch them with the white sap so they'd wet the bed and mum would yell at them. Ah, good times!
Cricket makes no sense.
Tina!!!
Dandelions make you wet the bed if you touch them? Have you conduct an experiment to prove this?
Herge!
You're not suggesting a return to my freelance science lab: Sniffy Experimentals are you?
Kaybee!
Cricket is totally bollocks.
IDV said... 'I remember picking dandelions as a kid then chasing my sisters around trying to touch them with the white sap so they'd wet the bed and mum would yell at them. Ah, good times!'.
And now...
IDV goes chasing the white sap himself.
It gets him excited enough to wet the bed too, the filthy cunt.
I've heard that dirty lesbos wet the bed frequently. Something to do with awful bladder control as a result of all that fisting and what-not.
Is it true?
It's because we skip through the meadows, picking dandelions,you dirty bastard.
Herge AND Kaybee in one day?! What's going on?
And what has Kaybee been doing? Being a mountie apparently.
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