We're expecting gale force winds again tonight.
Why's it always windy at night when you're trying to sleep? Fucking weather.
"Auntie Em! Auntie Em!" I get woken up by the Wizard of Oz hurricane dream..
And in my waking confusion, I think that I'm drowning because my face is submerged in nose-drip because I'm starting with a cold.
Fuck, it's started already. There are hail stones coming right at the living room window. Brilliant.
Rocky is growling at window and door.
He's such a good guard dog; shouting at fast-moving air and frozen water. Now he's threatening it with his squeaky baa-lamb/unicorn. So ferocious. I feel very safe with him in the house.
Recycling
I really hate recycling. It just means you have a load of crap hanging around the house for weeks on end until you finally put it out on the right day for collection. Three bin liners full of cans and bottles overflowing from the outhouse and covering the already restricted worktop space in the kitchen. You used to be able to chuck all this shite out with the rest of the rubbish.
Why can't they get incapacity benefit scroungers to sort out the rubbish for us? You could just dump all the waste collections to block the exit from the nearest Asda car park so they can't get out until they've cleared the rubbish into recycling piles.
If only they'd let me be in charge.
Plotting
So my plotting is restricted to what I'll do when the delicious April comes to visit for a couple of days at the end of the month.
Oh the joys of showing her the sights of the ghetto, I'm so excited!
7 comments:
I'm excited toooooo. I can hardly wait.
To all you Sniffy readers, please send gifts c/o Sniff. All gifts will be greatly appreciated and modelled in the nude.
In that case I'll send my tongue.
Jeez, give the woman a little freedom and she becomes a (bigger) hoor.
How about a feather boa?
Sniffs been talking about getting new pyjamas. I suspect that they won't be more of the fluffy grey ones she brought with her when she moved in.
Gifts?
How about a bucket of fresh cement to seal that leaky crack of yours?
April will gladly sort your rubbish for you.
Canadians are good at that sort of thing, and clubbing baby seals.
I'm going to have to be careful that Rocky doesn't lie down for too long or she'll get him.
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