Well, that's a fucking laugh, we've had no sunshine here since the first week of June - nothing but fucking miserable rain, with temperatures no higher than 20°C. I'm so depressed. But even so, and no matter how tempting, I hadn't gone into hibernation for the past couple of weeks, I've just been networkless.
But anyway, keen observers will have noticed a connection between a certain photo from my previous post with a certain hospital that was shown on television news after a number of foreign doctors were arrested following a botched islamic terrorist bomb plot here in the UK.
Good eh? You work at a place for 6 years and fuck all happens until the day after you leave. It probably says something about the organisation too: rubbish at balancing its books; in constant hot water with the press (fairly or not) over poor clinical services; but brilliant at turning out alleged terrorists!
According to sources back at Base 2A, Posh Scouse was at her faffing, flapping best at the news. Had I been there, I'd have been tempted to cure her hysteria the only way I know how. It would've been a mercy slapping.
Boring news things.
Hi, I'm Sniffy and I am a Virgo. I love computers and Hot Tamales!
Oh yes I do! And this week, I received two consignments of hot cinnamon delights from over the seas. I'm so happy. My gums and tongue hurt from trying to eat them by the mouthful.
Toxic Trump
She's hungover. She's been eating crap. She's sat next to me in bed. She's trumping.
We went to a barbecue yesterday afternoon - there was a gap in the rain clouds and somebody took advantage of the only dry afternoon in months. After missing the first round of food, we ate crisps; she drank beer, me, the usual Pepsi Max.
We're enjoying outdoor pursuits today too. An outdoor music festival in Salford. Middle of July, should be OK, even in England? This is the weather forecast, courtesy of the BBC.
Shit, non?
I hate this fucking country. Everything about it is totally horrible.
Tori Amos and the ADHD audience
We went to see Tori Amos last week. Trump decided that she didn't want to be there and sat, arms folded the entire evening, showing no appreciation for the wonderful musician performing on stage.
She, and I, were even less appreciative of the fucktards on our row who found it impossible to sit through a two hour concert without constantly getting up to go to the bar or the toilet. For fuck's sake, what is wrong with them? I was sat at the end of the row and on the tenth occasion that one of them returned, pleadingly saying "Sorry?" and wanting me to stand up so they could return to their seat, I was so very tempted to tell them "No, go round and disturb somebody else, cunt!". I just scowled at them instead.
They know they're being annoying, they stand there and say "Sorry, can I be really annoying (again!) and get past you?" So should they be surprised if they were told no?
I blame the education system. We were never allowed to leave class to go to the toilet at primary school. We were taught the discipline to sit through the lesson and wait until break. They're not allowed to this these days because it infringes on children's human rights. Hence, when they get to adulthood, they expect to be able to walk out of concerts, training sessions, meetings, rather than waiting until they're supposed to go.
Fucktards.
They'll learn when they have poor bladder control by the time they're forty; relying on first Tena Lady then full incontinence pads.
Little Con
Here she is!
Clearly shocked and appalled at one of Trump's farts. And equally shocked and appalled at the revelation that she can go longer without having a wee than concert audiences.
21 comments:
Hurrah for the return of your network. How was Tori? Did she play A Sorta Fairytale? Was she great? Just go tix to see her at the opera house here in Sept so am hoping she's doing a good tour :-)
Hey there Claire. Glad you've got tickets, you're in for a treat. She had the full band with her this time (unlike 2005 when it was just her with the keyboards). She played a really good mix of all her work, including Crucify, Cornflake Girl, Silent all these years, Little Earthquakes, God, Precious things, but NOT A sorta fairytale. Bummer eh? The rest of the set makes up for this omission though. You'll really enjoy it; a very powerful performance.
Yay! The spicy candies arrived safe and sound. Dare I ask if the ones for the boys managed to get to them or did they mysteriously disappear?
Funny how you disappear from the blog world for two weeks during which the hospital you JUST left is found to be harbouring terrorists....hmmmmm. Is there something about you we don't know?
I still have the boys' sweets, safe and sound. I'm waiting for a begging letter from them before I send them.
The connection between me and the (alleged) terrorist is pure coincidence. But I think the common denominator of Base 2a is a strong influence on our behaviours.
Con is obviously shocked and appalled. Who can blame him?
We need you to dicipline us Tina. We are laxadaisical and in need of chastisement.
It hasn't rained much up here at all. It was a lovely day when the Islamobastard set fire to himself at Glasgow airport and was promptly beaten up by irate Glaswegians.
They don't like it up 'em.
Oops, sorry. Con is a she.
We got our Hot Tamales last week.
Ner, ner ner ner, ner!
No surprise at finding wannabe terrorists in Manchester.
I'd have tripped the fuckers wandering past me at the Tori Amos (brill, by the way) concert.
Candies for the boys?
You mean us?
*looks for them*
We did get some from Bronwen last week, though!
Dearest Darling Sniffy,
These adorable boys here beg, plead, lick your hoofs, sorry feet - and wipe your faff clean after every evacuation for the next month.
Please, please, please let us have some sweeties!
Your favourite poofs,
Tazzy and Piggy.
xxx
There. Is that begging enough?
OK fellers, I'll try to get off my arse and get them posted this week. I'm not promising anything, but I'll try very hard.
Sounds great - can't wait. Full band always brings her performance to life.
It'll be my first gig at the main room at the Opera House here in Sydney - sounds like it will be a cracker!
Hope you're both well. And next time you're in London, there's a cybercandy.co.uk store in Covent Garden chock full of Hot Tamales
:-)
Our summer has definitely started. It was 38 last week - too hot. Maybe you need to come for another holiday Sniff? What say you?
Quit spending your money on postage to send those two poofs sweets and put that money back into your travel fund.
I have gone over the stage of moaning about the rain.
I just look forward to a good thunderstorm now, and hope a lightning strike livens things up a bit.
Gotta look at the bright side.
I hear you on the crappy weather. Now here's a deep, philosophical question for you...
If all of the sudden, there was this immediate shift in the planet's weather due to some strange Global Warming event.. and you suddenly found yourself cast in beaming sun and heat for 15 hours a day, would all your troubles evaporate intantly?
Actually, they just might.
Oh Kirk if only you knew. Summers in the UK are usually a fairly hit and miss affair and we can't rely on the weather being decent for a few days on the trot. But we usually get a mix of sun for a couple of days, cloud for one, maybe a day of rain or two. This is now the third month of constant rain here with one week of sunshine early in June.
I am totally fucked off with it.
Wimmin.
Always moaning.
Cheer up my little sniffer. It could be worse, you could live with me in our delightfully soggy temperate rainforest. Our average annual rainfall is 2300mm - and we get all of that in about 8 months. The rest of the time it is snowing. Last year was a record year for snowfall. It snowed for 6 months and we got nearly 5080mm of the stuff.
On the plus side, the lack of sun shall keep us dewy and youthful forever - provided we don't mold. Surely you've seen the horrid wrinkles that accompany fabulous weather.
Aak
Tori Anus concert, eh? Maybe they were slipping out to a store for more functional earplugs. That's where I'd be going.
yeah, they were so thick though, the earplugs were probably up their arses.
It was like 2 hours of a fan belt going off.
I think the NATO countries should send in Celine Dion and Tori Anus into Afghanistan for a collaborative Taliban assault. Those explosive, IED toting bastards would be waving a white flag before the end of song 1 - Cornflake Fille.
Hey Sniffy, you still there or have the rains washed you away...?
Post a Comment