Oh brother!

After years of indifference, resistance even, I've found myself watching the latest series of Big Brother.

It's so boring. The contestants are boring. The show is boring. They even had to rev up a racist scandal from nothing to raise its profile. And it's still boring.

But quite compelling all the same. I find myself watching the antics of a sample of the most repellent characters in the country and I somehow can't resist; even the "live show", where nothing happens and you can't hear anything because the sounds are blanked out.

Pathetic.

Ideally, instead of evictions, the house should have a new tenant each week, until all the equally vacuous members of our society are locked up away from the rest of us.

With ten "women" and just one bloke, I'm really hoping that the girls just get into a big cat fight and kill each other. With hair straighteners.



Culture
No, I'm not referring the stuff that grows between my toes and in my belly button, I'm getting some culture at the theatre later on. Patricia Routledge in an Alan Bennett. Well, it just had to be, I suppose.


A goose on a moped
I was stirred from slumber in the early hours by a couple having a barny in a nearby street. It sounded like a fucking riot. Bastards. I really don't understand what's wrong with people round here, but there's a total lack of consideration for people in the neighbourhood as people just go around shouting, banging doors, revving engines, playing car stereos really loud, etc, etc, at all times of the night. Morons.

Anyway, as I came to realise that there wasn't a riot making its way towards us, the panic in my head settled and I heard one of my favourite noises: a honking goose... that sounded like it was riding a moped. The two (the goose and the moped) travelled in the same direction and speed at the same time; one ground level, the other up in the air. A wonderful coincidence that cheered me.



Boredom
Trapped in the Big Brother house for 14 weeks, what would Sniffy find herself doing? Obviously, fidelity isn't an issue, so I wouldn't have any problems declining the kind advances of fellow housemates.

I think I'd just want to sleep and eat, and probably smoke too. Get into a few arguments.

Would I be allowed a taser?

Uh oh, Trump's home! Better give her some attention.