Frexample, why does Whoopi Goldberg have no eyebrows? I've never quite understood that. But why do we have eyebrows anyway? What purpose could they have served in humans as they evolved from walking fish? Just looking at some silverback gorillas on the telly, they have the furrowed brow, but they don't look they're hairy in the way that humans' are.
So eyebrows are weird things. I'm particularly disturbed by:
- Monobrows (Noel Gallagher, me circa 1986-2000). Ugly, ugly boys.
- Black eyebrows, white hair (government minister Alistair Darling). Fucking ridiculous.
- Shocking over-plucking. This is where the eyebrow is plucked to within a hair of its life, result in a constant look of surprise (me in about 2004).
Black pepper, madam?
Why don't they leave you a black pepper grinder on the table in Italian restaurants? I think the waiting staff enjoy the power of making diners wait for them to sidle along with a huge grinder - "Pepper, ladies?". They then proceed to give you two twists of their knob, which approximates to about a nanogram of ground pepper, most of which misses the plate. They give you salt, they give you white pepper (which in many cases I prefer to black anyway), they give you flavoured olive oil, but not black pepper.
And while you're at it, leave the grated parmesan.
Prego!
Little Con
I'm not one for plastering photos of babies on the interweb, but I couldn't resist with this one:
12 comments:
Thanks Sniffy..SBs ovaries just twitched at that baby photo.
*sniffs baby grow*
Tell her to leave you alone. I'll send you a couple of Little Con's post-poo baby grows if you like. Although she's only pooing once a week at the moment, so you'll have to wait.
Nice.
How's Daddy'O Sniffy?
Hope all is well.
You are right.
Darling's badger vibe is a disgrace, he gives me The Fear.
But, you missed out the most common (in every sense) one! The one which so many daft young women do, which is to remove the eyebrows completely, and then draw some others on! usually about an inch higher and three inches wider. They look fucking ridiculous, and these are inevitably the ones who think they look great. I can't take them seriously, I can't talk to them - I can't not see the cartoonish abominations they have scrawled on themselves. Madness! Women have eyebrows, I've never known any actual guys who have a problem with that entirely uncontroversial fact, have you?
And your hardwoman image has taken such a pounding since you started loving baby-wabies. Are you on parole, trying to convince them you've had a change of heart?
Loz, she's my niece, it's allowed. Drawn on eyebrows are too stupid for me to even contemplate mentioning, my mind can't deal with that sort of thing without me losing brain cells.
Sid, Dad came home from hospital today. he's a bit wobbly and sore from the fall, but ok. Ta for asking.
Fair dos. And it is a cute pic - babies laughing are always fun, they really mean it, no subtext.
Urrrrrgh!
You just had to go and spoil that post by including a pic of a child right at the end, didn't you?
Almost fell off my fucking chair, so I did.
I'm rather surprised to see it has all of the usual body parts.
I bet it has no teeth by the time it's 18 though.
So I came here and was all "blah blah, yeah eyebrows, blah, blah, blah, pepper grinders, blah, bla- BABY!!!!!!!!!"
Thanks for that - my ovaries are twitching like a caffeine virgin after a pot of Seattle's finest.
Little Con looks like you - cuter, though.
Loz, they smile when they have wind too - Big Con just happened to have the camera ready at exactly the right time.
M&J, she has no teeth now, so any that she has at 18 will be a bonus. Admit it, she's cute, isn't she?
Bronwen; I'll pass your compliments on to her mother... just at the moment when she's on the verge of tears trying to get her to sleep.
Yes, yes, yes... Con Jr is very cute but I can honestly say my ovaries don't feel the slightest twinge. My youngest daughter cured me for ever wanting any more kids.
As for eyebrows - I'll be the guy with the white hair and black eyebrows. I have so many eyebrows you could braid them.
What happened to your Dad - did I miss something?
No April, I wouldn't want one either; they may have their cute moments, but in general, they're selfish little nuisances who ruin your life.
Dad got out of hospital yesterday. He's a bit wobbly on his feet and sore from the fall, but he's oK.
The Alistair Darling pic reminded me of one of my old posts: Separated at birth
All the best Ed
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