There's no escaping my past it seems. I've been found here by my one and only boyfriend from way back. I mean WAY back. It's a bit odd really, because he could've just looked in the phone book and the number is still there. I suppose the phone book doesn't contain entertaining musings, nice photographs and the word cunt, unless it's the Scunthorpe phonebook, but that doesn't really count.
But for fuck's sake, these people! I don't go looking for them, yet here I am, pursued like a wild animal being hunted down by a pack of dogs.
I studied melodrama at the RADA, don't you know.
Anyway.... Poor Glenn, who was very sweet and who I did spend a lot of nice times with (but it really wasn't for me, obviously), found this post and posted this comment:
Glenn said...
raises eyes......the things you find when you:
a) are working from home and no-one's watching what website you're looking at,
b) bored with writing yet another design document which no-one else will ever read,
c) decide to go back on Friends Reunited and see who's on there
d) think to yourself: "didn't Tina used to have an entry on here"
e) type Tina's name into google
f) find Tina's flickr page (How? for fuck's sake - should've image-googled "normal tits" instead)
g) find Tina's blog (v. funny, BTW)
h) randomly browse some blog entries
i) find out that you only went out with me 'cos Mark asked you to as a favour...
That gentle hissing sound you can hear is my ego deflating!
Hey ho. I've no idea why his ego is deflated all these years on, it was for the best. And it may have been a favour for Mark, but it was still OK... ish... till I realised it really wasn't for me, which I sort of knew all along, but had to give it a go.
The Bears' bear
Bad news on the Bear front for Tazzy and Piggy. What follows is a real text message exchange between me and Connie:
Me: "The bear is very popular. I posted a photo of him on the internet and all sorts of people (homos) now want one!"
Mother: "Got your message in Costco. No more bears, they would become common. I think it will be a golliwog next, then you can put him on the internet and see what comments you get. x"
It's an age thing.
Locum locusts
I'm doing a spot of evening work at the moment and here I am, waiting for something to cook in the lab. There was a huge tin of what promised to be Cadbury's Heroes (chocolates, to you foreigners) in the office. I was so looking forward to a miniature Twirl or Time Out, imagine my disappointment (but not surprise) to find that only "Dreams" were left. Cadbury Dreams are white chocolate. Need I say more?
White fucking chocolate, I ask you! Who invented this shite? And why did Cadbury think it was a good idea to mix them in with their otherwise delicious chocs?
Bastards.
Quiz answer
Piggy and IDV were indeed correct, the answer to the "fill in the blank" question was indeed:
"Macs are glorified Fisher Price activity centres for adults"
I don't think I need to add anything else to this statement.
12 comments:
I wouldn't exactly say I was stalking you - just curious to see what you were up to :) I could have played all sorts of anonymous-posting mind-games if I was stalking you ;)
I'm glad you're all loved-up and pleased to see you still have a razor-sharp sense of humour (but now enhanced with the liberal use of the word "cunt") :)
Anyway - I'm really not stalking you! Honest! I shall now disappear for another 20 years and then return to see what "Tina - the golden years" look like :)
Oh let me have my moment of melodrama for goodness sake!
I know you're not stalking me, you never would. You're a gent. Not like those too Barnsley queers who are trying to steal my bear!
You could provide Connie with the ear ring to pierce the Bear's niple with. But please wait til I'm there, I want to see her face when you ask.
That would certainly be a Kodak moment. Why don't you suggest it to her? She likes you.
WTF us a golliwog? And white "chocolate" is not chocolate by any stretch of the imagination.
What's a golliwog? Where the fuck have you been? They're sort of rag dolls made to look like minstrels - you know, white people blacked up?
I once had a golliwog badge earned by collecting 2500 Robertson Jam labels.
Put me off strawberry jam for life.
You see, I think golliwogs are totally cool, they're absolutely brilliant and they're the nearest things I had to black friends when I was a child. But apparently, they're totally offensive - perhaps if I'd had black friends as a child, I'd have known this.
Hey ho. I like them, but they're wrong apparently. So be it.
Shame about the bear. Poor Piggy & Tazzy, going without.
And white chocolate? Yuck. Lucky for me, Miss Peanut likes the stuff. She takes care of it while I go for the extra dark.
I used to have two golliwogs. A big one and a little one. I imagine a dwarf golliwog is even more unPC...
I don't want a prize for the Mac thing if it's going to be a handful of mouldy old Dreams. Blech!
Ahhh... Glenn is sweet.
Ha Ha! It's a proper Pendlebury High School Reunion on here!
Yeah, I'm laughing too!
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