"Working from home"

That's what I'm doing today - officially at least. Unofficially, i.e. really, I'm sat around doing fuck all except surfing the internet and getting cold while my car is in the garage for a service and MOT. This isn't too bad, I like sitting around and doing fuck all (it's what I do at Base 2a all the time anyway) and at least this way, I'm not paying for the petrol to cover the 60mile return journey.

I don't really do working from home and I can't believe that anybody works effectively out of the office environment. There are too many distractions, such as my bed, and since I can't even work from work, I've got no chance while sat here.

I am now accompanied by a De Longhi Dragon oil-filled electric heater. I initially scoffed at Dad's suggestion, but now I'm getting nice and toasty thankyouverymuch. It's sort of crammed in the leg space under the desk, so I'll probably end up with crippling back pain and thrush, but at least my knees will be warm.


Detour through your mind
So anyway, instead of walking straight home, I took a detour onto the shopping precinct on my way to Morrison's, Aldi and B&Q. I happened to look in the window of Gregg's the bakers, mainly because it was one of the only shops open at 8.58. This is what I saw:

Oh, how I marvelled at the skill of the bakers, at their forethought in reflecting the town's demographic and morbidity indices when assembling their gingerbread men. Only in Swinton do you get gingerbread men to look like people on Incapacity Benefit. Fantastic.

I've just had a great deal of fun getting that photo onto the internet. I've no bluetooth on my laptop so I bluetoothed it from my phone to my Palm and e-mailed from there to flickr. Technology eh? All because I couldn't be arsed to set up an e-mail account on my phone, I mean for fuck's sake, how many e-mail accounts does a person need? TWO, that's how many, and I've got about 8 that I can't keep track of, so I'm not having any more.

Right, back to my adventures in Swinton. After dropping in to Morrison's and Aldi - you see, we have all the big name shops here - I went to B&Q to look at wallpaper strippers, those big kettles with a pipe attached. I looked at one, which was in a nice small and easy to manage box, and ended up taking the one in the bigger, bulkier box to the till. Before buying it, I checked to see that they had a bag I could carry it - black bin liners - and made my purchase. I then walked the mile or so home getting my shins bashed in by the fucking thing. I was so fed up by the time I got in. And my knickers were right up my arse crack, it was so uncomfortable.

Fuck, this is like a proper blog post where people talk about their daily routines and discuss thrush. The way this heater is warming my gusset up, I'll be getting onto thrush discussions within half an hour.


Valentine, be mine
The next week could be tricky for me since Wednesday is Valentine's Day. I haven't got a clue what to do about it. I suppose the wall paper stripper is fairly romantic, but I guess I'll need to think of something in the rockets, bells and poetry category. I wonder if she'd like a rocket launcher, I know I certainly would.

It's all a bloody rip-off, but it'll be worth it just so I can buy a "for my wonderful girlfriend" card in Clinton's. One of those huge padded things with teddy bears and ribbons. She'll love that.

I always thought the idea of Valentine's Day was so mystery admirers could alert the objects of their desire to their otherwise unsuspected feelings. It turns out that it's for people in stable relationships to spend loads of cash without justification when what they should really be doing is showing respect and love for their partners every moment they're with them.

Oh well.